[Nobuanga just... laughs... and tugs Klaus into a hug and holds him there! And kisses Klaus' head.]
She doesn't. She doesn't understand. She's still young, and doesn't want to be seen like that.
And Klaus... you weren't normal. And that's okay, but there were only the 7 of you with powers, and you destroyed the world trying to save it. That's not normal for anyone's timeline.
[And just.... More laughs!]
[And more hugs and head kisses!] Nothing. I love how you are with her. Teyrey doesn't want that for herself. She's like Ieyasu. She said getting thrown in the pool was the worst, and I told her Valdis threw me in, and it was hilarious. But try treating her as different from both Ava, and your siblings. Maybe more like Valdis. A sexy lethal giant hound who might try to seduce you, or eat your soul. At worst, she'll learn she hates it, and grow to appreciate the way things used to be better.
She doesn’t have to insult people’s siblings in the process. [This is hurt feelings Klaus and this is a version of Klaus that is less reasonable than all other Klauses.] It’s just sometimes she acts so…so…dumb. And then she just is mean on purpose.
[More frowning even as they just lean into Nobunaga and the hugs.] Ew. I don’t want to seduce her now.
[Sigh] I will just be the most boring version of myself ever. The less than lukewarm one.
But like…I dunno. Maybe we should just not be friends. Probably easier anyway. And I can just avoid situations where we have to be alone together and then everyone will be happy and no one can be mad because we never speak again!
She didn't mean to. And so am I. [Acting dumb and then super mean on purpose, but he can't stifle the laugh about Klaus not wanting to seduce her.] I don't mean you should seduce her. I might shoot you for that. Just act like she's -- you know what, I don't know. I meant about Valdis, but if that's how you are with her then no.
Tch... No. [ALL THE HEAD KISSES!!! And picks Klaus up!] You can't avoid her anyway. [Because she is literally under contract to protect Klaus ayyyyy.]
Everyone is prickly sea urchins. Just remember you like her as she is. She is always terse about having fun, because her whole existence is like that part of Diego that goes -- how did you say it? Discount Batman? Vigilante? And the part of Luther from before Regi died when he was still trying to earn his place as Number 1. She wants to prove her competency. When she is not working, not progressing in her goals, she feels lost. Understanding values... she does understand how much it bothers you what she said about your family, okay? So tell her. And show her she can more honest with herself with you too. But I think you already miss her.
How do you know she didn't mean to? I think she did mean to. If she wants to be treated like an adult who knows what she's doing so bad, then she can accept this. [Klaus looks over at him sort of like 'is this not treating someone like an adult enough?'] I don't know if shooting someone is the answer. I'd like to not be threatened with shooting anymore.
[Klaus is already levitating to make the being picked up easier, just casually wrapping their legs around Nobunaga's waist. It's easy and comfortable and makes them happy.] I can too!
Luther makes more sense. But she's...she expects people to be on the same level and sometimes we're just not. I'm not the only one with weird expectations here. I don't miss anyone. I'm perfectly content to keep my friends list where it is.
She's never had siblings. She had peers. All very professional, stern, proper. So to her loving is like that, and peaceful. Prosperity. Remember the Tradelines motto? Stabbing isn't peaceful. To her it is that easy. I don't think the idea that loving sibling relationships is so important to you that its an insult ever calculated in her mind. I said she wants to be a mature adult, not that she is. She still thinks in these simpler ways.
[Top of head kiss! ow ow the cute it burns.] So I can't joke about shooting you, even with a water gun, but Diego stabs you and if Teyrey is confused about that culture clash, she's insulting your family?
[He has a Klaus on him now, yay!] How are you going to avoid her in your heart?
She thinks it's culture, you think it's closeness, I think you're both right. Isn't it the same as me, when I want to break the social rules inhibiting people from attaining their true potential and freedom of selves?
Ugh. I hate the Tradelines motto! [That's mostly just a dramatic reaction and less about the actual Tradelines motto. But peace and prosperity sounds mostly like something that doesn't actually work. There's no peace and no prosperity. Not here, not home.] I guess it's not her fault she hasn't been through the same stuff, but she should understand by now that my siblings are important to me. It's not like I've kept it a SECRET!
[There's a pout.] You didn't say with a water gun! Also Diego's never actually stabbed me. Just thrown knives at me. If he wanted to hit me, he would have. And she's insulting my family by saying they aren't loving. She doesn't know us. I don't think she understands love as a real concept. Just like an idea.
By eating ice cream and forgetting. [This is a very petulant response and Klaus is aware of it.]
I'm still not going to be on the level she wants me to be. And I don't want to be. I just...don't know why it's so bad to be close to people and why everything has to be professional 24/7. But I'll just turn my personality off for her and let her see how that works for her. I'll wear beige. See how she feels about THAT!
[Amused, arches both eyebrows.] You don't think it's magnificently idealistic. [Gentle poke!] Your cult leader grifting is showing through~~ [So obviously teasing!!] Sounds like you need to tell her your values instead of assuming it's understood. And likewise, respect hers too. You can't call peace and prosperity stupid and get confused that she doesn't understand the idea of loving siblings. I barely understand it, and you don't give me a hard time for it, do you?
I think you might be right about love. Just like you see peace and prosperity like an ideal, not a tangible every day aspect of her reality she constantly made come true every day, one moment at a time and interaction. Isn't that how love works too? [Love!!! ♥ Death! 👿] I told you even partnership contracts like what you an I have only last a few years in her sector. And the can be ended sooner. But she knows love when she sees it. She says we're perfect together, you and me. But she's only hearing about your siblings. Maybe it'd be different if they were here. Are you sure that's not what really upsets you? You miss them, she doesn't fill that void, and maybe you feel a little guilty thinking that void could be filled by anyone else, and you feel like you must be explaining them poorly?
[Head kiss!]
You don't.... [Laughs about the beige!] Ew no! Stick with purple! Or pastels. Or teal or... whatever! [Laughs!] You don't have to be professional with her! We're both explorers, her and me! We love you for expanding our horizons. She'd say "greatly value" but American friendship love, right? The constant act towards achieving the ideal! Just treat her like herself. Understand that she isn't like Ava and your siblings. You're all Americans, remember? It's a huge difference! You make it hard to really shock! Well, you specifically, impossible. I want to. Pratt insists you'll have the funniest reactions but I almost never get them. But in general, Americans seem so radical. It's not just time period either. The British are stuffy. Yuuki is -- reserved and surly isn't the right word, but... conservative definitely. At least in comparison. And I love it! But all that time traveling you never noticed how shocked the rest of the world seemed by you???
And Teyrey's got it even harder! She has no one from any of her star systems, culture, core concepts, food, anything. You said yourself, even peace and prosperity, the foundation of her moral core, who she is and wants to be, seems fake to you.
You're smarter than you like people to know Babe. [Kisses a temple and gently massages a hand down Klaus' chest.] In her case... use it! She already demands and expects it. And you can't let her down worse than making her feel forced to be someone to please you that she can't be. Understood?
I don't think it's... [There's a sigh followed by a squeak as they're poked] Heeeeyyy. [He pouts once more.] But that's different. You had siblings. And I can't blame you for like...things you couldn't control. It's the way you... [Okay, so maybe it's hit a little]
I don't see the connection. [He knows all about the partnership contracts, still doesn't fully see the point of them, but that's just...how things go.] She did? [Rude. How is he supposed to be mad now? And then Nobunaga gets even MORE rude.] No. [This is a lie. Klaus does miss them. It's a weird longing because they'll never see each other at this point. Never again. And sure, another version of him is with them and they are together, but that's...not the same thing. They're still alone. Having no siblings feels off.] Ugh. Gross.
[Klaus sighs at that, leaning into Nobunaga for a brief moment]
Am not! [There's a frown, but the feeling of the hand on his chest and the kiss to his temple make him relax a little.] Yes, sir. [Another semi petulant response]
I think they see love as an arrangement of convenient circumstances. Meant to promote peace, and prosperity. And what you have with your siblings... is definitely not that, Klaus! [Laughs! And kisses forehead!] So show her! I don't mean throw knives at her, you're not Diego. I mean show her love.
[So cute!!!! Nobunaga affectionately rubs his nose against Klaus'!]
[Klaus gives him a small look.] I know you did it because you're concerned about me. But I have...I know what I'm doing with Blackbeard. So trust me? If he trusts me enough to listen to me because of this...because we're friends...I can help Pratt. Right? [They reach out for him anyway.] I love you for worrying, though.
[NOBUNAGA GRABS BOTH OF KLAUS' CHEEKS AGAIN IN MAXIMUM IRRITATION!]
Why are you always like this?!
You say trust you, but when it's me, it's all "Noooo don't WORRY me like that, I'll cry!"
Understand, I've had sex with Valdis, I let her have sex with you, I would fight and spar with her, but I know she could kill me, and it'd be pointless. I do not trust her. You can't just turn Blackbeard into your friend through letting him stab you. If it was that easy, everyone I've ever met would be my friend, and then I wouldn't want to stab anyone after that once. Do you get it?
And Pratt isn't going to be saved by you trying to offer yourself as a stabbing sacrifice. It's insulting. Both to Pratt, and Blackbeard, and yourself. You're worth more than any fucking sacrifice ever created, Baka!
If you want to learn knives with Blackbeard, do it for you! Not for him, not for me, not even for Diego. Isn't that what you said about me and trying to learn to respect everyone's wishes and communicate better? You can't just say "Well I asked and received permission, this is communicating." If I, who never asks permission, but at least I'm bloody fucking God's piss trying, can understand this, why can't you?
[They are swatting his hands right now] Ow ow ow. Stoooooop!
I trust Valdis. [Maybe it's not the smart thing to do, but that's fine.] But you're always talking about doing things to free everyone. Isn't it the same idea?
MAYBE HE WILL! [Klaus is sighing and tired now.] I'm...it's not...I'm just trying to...
It isn't like he has a ton of friends on the ship! [Ugh, now they're annoyed all over again. They're going to go lie face down on the bed and hope for the best] This is also not communicating. For the record. For someone who always talks about how smart I am sometimes I feel like you don't actually mean that.
Why? [He isn't going to point out that even Regi threw Klaus under a literal bus, but...] Valdis doesn't even know what she wants. How?
So be his friend. But don't lie to both yourself and me, that it's going to change him. That's not the point of friendship. And Pratt can take care of himself, as unbelievable as that sounds. He knows better now, that it won't be sexy like he thought.
I don't...
[Nobunaga's hurt by that. He's trying and yet...] Explain. [Just quietly. Composed.]
I don’t know what I want half the time, but it doesn’t make her less trustworthy. I know if the chips are down and shit is real, she’s my friend and she’ll do what she can to help me. Sure, she’d probably be just as fine to sip my soul and stuff, but she’s there for me. And she trusted me with her wounds and stuff. So I can trust her with me.
[There’s a sigh] I’m not trying to change him. Just give him someone to rely on and maybe listen to sometimes. I’m not saying it might not go wrong, but I don’t know. And I know Pratt can, but is it wrong to want to help?
[Just curling up on the bed] Sometimes it feels to me like…you ask me to trust you, right? Even if I don’t understand or whatever and I’m trying to. I am. Maybe I have shit to work through on that because of my past. I probably do. But then sometimes it feels like you’re holding me with kid gloves like…like I don’t understand things.
You know what you want. Or... I know what you want. You want everyone to be happy and safe and fulfilled. You go crazy, because that can be contradictory. This is your motivation. This is why you do everything and anything. Valdis does not have this figured out yet. She knows what she does not want, but that is not enough for me.
What does trust mean to you, Klaus?
Then just be Blackbeard's friend. I have never told you not to, have I?
I have never asked you to trust me. And I never will. Such a thing, is not how I work. I want your faith, but only because I work every day to earn it. I don't want your trust. I want you to be skeptical, and able to kill me when no one else can. I hate that Teyrey trusts me. I have told her over and over, I will abuse it, and I will, and I do, keep hurting her and taking advantage of it. And I always will.
I do treat you gently. Because I want to. I want to protect you. You've been through a lot and you've had almost no one in your life offer you simple basics like this. I am much harsher on you than almost anyone else too. Because I have the highest of standards. And I know you can withstand it. So I do things with you I would never with anyone else. I told you the first day we met, I don't want to break you. I'm good at breaking people. On purpose, but even on accident. But you always exceed my expectations. I do not want to hold you back from anything. That is why I told you to date Bash. That is why I cannot tell you NOT to sleep with others, only leave it as your choice, and forever try to be the best so you don't feel inclined to want anyone else.
I think you understand more than I do, Klaus. "Wakaran," in Japanese, means I don't get it. I feel like I say that constantly here. I am forever filled with questions. Because I don't understand.
I just told you. If you show me on a repeat basis that I can rely on you, then I do. Trust doesn’t have to mean agree with on everything ever. I trust you to tell me when I’m doing something stupid or something you disagree with.
No. But you seem wary about the knives a touch.
Do you want to do those things to her or do you not want to stop doing them? Not an attack, just a question. Clarification. But even she questions you. Trusting or not.
But you can tell me those things. You can tell me. I am not suffering from boundaries. It helps keep things clear and I know you well enough by now to know you say that you’re fine with that, but you’re not. It’s half the reason I was surprised you were the one asking for a threesome. Because you might say one thing and show another. And I know how jealous you get.
But you don’t need to be gentle at the risk of your own feelings. I’m not suffocating. And faith and trust just sound like the same thing to me.
I don't... Reliable. Is that it? Tch. [Nobunaga pokes Klaus' forehead!] Do you think I dislike people disagreeing with me? I have 5 generals at home, none of them agree with each other about anything! I prefer people to challenge me. To disagree with me, and tell me how I'm wrong. I get heated. I have to. All my emotions are tied up in it, and I am incapable of detaching them. If the stance someone is taking isn't strong enough to defend it against my temper, then it's not worth my time. No one agreed with me about Mt. Hiei, and I never would have employed them if they had! What I did was an atrocity. [Bared teeth, snarl.] I set an entire mountain on fire. But it is only knowing that all my generals hated it, that I knew they would do everything they could to make sure it was as least awful as it could be.
And Kichou... [HARD FACEPALM! Nearly a slap and donking sound.] Kichou was a sadist, almost as much as I am. He is cruel. Saito Dosan, his father, is worse than even Reginald Hargreaves. He's an evil Uncle too. He tortured Kichou, and Mitsuhide, his nephew. He killed my father, and he almost tortured his whole lands as daimyo. I mention this because... Kichou is the only other person I would have proposed to. But Kichou is a sadist. I am not a masochist, and if he was, our entire relationship would have been a lot healthier, but truthfully, it could never be actually healthy. We are both immensely strong personalities, and he has more rage than even I. I sent him to deal with the Ikkou Ikki, but he failed me. I don't understand what changed, but the next time I saw him, he vowed to never allow peace. And I still don't hate him. I don't hate anyone. Hate is the worst. I don't fear being hated, because it will always hurt its wielder more than anyone else. But I can -- easily, have sex without trusting someone. Everything with Kichou was like a dance to see who would stab each other first. A battle of wills and ideals, and just... highly charged war without letting anyone interfere in our dance.
Let's see, your AU twin got his fingers cut off and fed to him, and you told me you want to prevent that by helping Blackbeard mitigate his stabbing urges, like you mitigate all my anger by letting me bite you, and you wonder why I am a little leery of this? [SIGH.] Klaus. Swords in my time... are taught by tutors. Monks. They teach them to children from the time they are born. Rather, the noble children. The castes -- you understand, they do not allow the other three castes to use the sword. It is a privilege only afforded the samurai, this is something I personally changed. One of those rules you say I am too intense about. They teach them by cutting children. "You can't understand the pain you inflict on others without experiencing it yourself. Always remember this pain. And learn not to fear it, but not seek it." This kind of thing. I will stab you anywhere you wish. But I am never going to be happy with the idea of someone I don't know, cannot trust, stabbing you for their own enjoyment, and you saying, "Teehee! It's okay, we're friends!" If this does not make sense to you, ask Ava or Pratt. But make sure you tell them, it's not just masochism, because I have always offered to stab you too. For that matter, even ask Valdis.
To me... when I say I don't trust... it's yes... I think similar? It is hm... Not just reliability. Predictability. That I know what they'll do and why. That is why I trust motivations but... Trust is... to me, it means I do not try to tear it apart. There is no logic that factors in, I believe words because the person says so, because I have no reason to doubt them. I put the person above my reason. This is not the case. Are you upset that I don't trust you about being stabbed? I'm sorry. I cannot. It is not that I don't trust you, I don't trust them. I haven't met them. If you were getting stabbed by Valdis, I would be okay with it. Maybe this is the problem with sex too. No wait, Sharky. I don't know. I don't know what my problem is, I'm sorry.
If I tell Teyrey something, of course she questions me. She understands: That is what I want. She would immensely disappoint me if she didn't! That would mean she is afraid of me. That she hates me. That's not trust at all.
Trust is -- accepting what someone says about information without checking or comparing to anything else. I couldn't afford that at home. Not after No-- my brother. [The anger from earlier softens completely.] I did... I used to trust him. I'm flattered that Teyrey trusts me, but I've told her constantly to verify everything I say. Because I have my blind spots. Even me. And I don't know where they are, or they wouldn't exist. I've told her, and she agrees, to not believe my words ever, but my actions speak for themselves.
I'm reliable. I don't... think Valdis is for me yet. I think you can trust her implicitly. So... I do trust her with you. I told her the first day I met her, don't protect me, that's not how generals like me work. Protect you. Because then I can still act rationally. And she has given me reasons to trust her in that regard.
Tell you -- [Irritated growl.] No, Klaus. I can't. I told you, I'm glad you understood my jealousy. That I would be hurt or maybe just angry, and there would be consequences. But I'm not as -- in tune with my emotions as I want... or need to be. I'm... I have to rely on your strength for this, I am sorry. It's not because I don't want to suffocate you, it's because... I can't be someone making these kinds of restrictions. I'm... scared. It's not even that I don't trust you. I trust you to know better than me. But it would hurt me. Please... please understand this... this is like the values I tried to bring up. [Ugh why is this so hard?!]
How can faith and trust sound the same to a cult leader? [Laughs, because ehhhh sure why not. And just pokes Klaus' cheek.] Faith is... [A headtilt. A SMILE!] I retract that. It's an optimism that people mean well, they will do their best. I guess that could be a form of trust. I just never thought it that way before? [More laughs! And kisses Klaus' forehead.] I am glad I asked you this. Obviously... faith in gods I don't have. But it is believing they are real without evidence, even with evidence to the contrary. It's a little different, I think, in people, because it's built with time. With recurring successes. Similar to why I trust Valdis with you. Tentative building. But if ever fails, I won't be entirely surprised. Just disappointed.
[Klaus scrunches up his face a little at the poke] I didn't say you liked it. [They don't really know what to say about the other part, though. It's obvious that he didn't like it and so Klaus doesn't want to cut into it too much more.
There's a weird flash of jealousy about Kichou. He knew about people before, but somehow this one gets him.] I'm sorry about your friend. Or...well...whatever you call him.
[This makes him sit up quietly.] Okay. I guess I get it. I'll try not to get stabbed, okay? But I do that for you because I love you. Because it helps you to be chill. And also because I like it. I don't like being stabbed at least not that I'm aware of. Really only know what that's like from like...being harpooned in the chest.
[Klaus smiles a little, reaching a hand out for him] You're just...it's okay not to want me to sleep with other people. I get it. I don't want to make you jealous or uncomfortable. [They study him for a moment] Boundaries with a romantic partner aren't like...how things were at home. You can let me be free without also causing yourself discomfort. I'm not really sure how to explain it. I know you said like your hawks, you let them be free and they can come back or not. But...it's not...the same exactly. It's not a containment. It's just voicing things you don't want from a relationship. Just like how you say you don't like the idea of me going into a situation where I'll get stabbed because for you it reminds you of how I let you bite me when you get upset. Sometimes you can...say, "These are things that make me uncomfortable." and it it's something we can work through together, then we will. If it's a boundary, then I'll respect it.
[There's an eyebrow arch at that] I'm a fake, buddy. I'm not any form of religious. [There's a nod at his words, though.] Glad I could help.
I want to be disagreed with. If you don't tell me when and why you disagree with me, I won't get stronger.
Not a friend! [Very hoarsely! And he even shudders!] Definitely not a friend. An ex. The closest I've been to getting dumped I suppose. I asked him to do something I thought no one else had a chance, but I don't know what happened to him. [Kichou timetraveled into the future, though Nobunaga doesn't know this.] He had to go deep undercover in the cult. [Nobunaga comes over, puts his left arm over Klaus' shoulders, laying on his front and gently shooter his lips.] Nothing like you, worry not. And it is like he never showed up.
[Snuggles into Klaus' neck, just breathing in their smell! This is nice.]
Yare yare... Klaus... [Why is he always asking for this??? Values? And yet even now...]
I don't mind you getting stabbed, it's not that I think it's inherently like how I find you sexy and biting you soothes me a million ways. I don't want you to get stabbed, because you don't want to be stabbed. You're so desperate to be friends and help someone you'll do things you don't like to please them. Stop acting like your only worth is in things like this. I love you. You are fantastic, you are brilliant. Find another way. Just be his friend. He likes whips too. I don't even have a problem if you want to practice whips with him because it's fun. I am uncomfortable, however, with you letting him whip you. Do you understand the difference? It's important.
Things I want.... how the hell can I know that? I've never even heard of stuff you have. Choking you with a tie I thought was the hottest thing I've ever done. Then I remembered to show you my whip. Then that was the hottest. Then you convinced me to be your sheathe. So that was the hottest too.
Klaus... I want to make you smile. I want to do things that my head says are really stupid and I will hate, like karaoke, and wearing a lion costume instead of being like everyone else as a demon, and every ice cream flavor in one bowl, and Disco dancing, argh.
[Struck by demonic inspiration, Nobunaga kisses down Klaus forehead and nose and oh so chastely barely ghosts the lips.]
I want to be the one you rely the most on. I want you to always be free, always make friends, always cherish them above all else, but I want to be the only one you return to at night, the only one to help you reach sexual heights, the only one to have your romantic love like this. I want to be the best for you. I want you to be safe, fulfilled and above all else happy. I will turn both of our bad lucks into good, with my own two hands, and your heart that saves me endlessly from my darkness. Because you are the strongest, sweetest, most valuable treasure I've ever met. To know you is to love you. Abd every day I love you more and more. I have never believed in fate and soulmates, but now I do. That's my wedding vows. So remember it.
[Klaus makes a very quiet note of that] Okay. Not a friend, then. [The arm and the pressure of someone lying on him makes them smile.
They move to put a hand against the back of Nobunaga's head, lightly running his fingers through his hair. It is nice.
And the rest of this makes them frown. Even if he does understand what he's saying here. He doesn't want him to put himself in danger just to be close to someone.] I only want you to whip me, babe. But I do want to give myself a few people to train with because there's different...ways of doing things and being able to fight. Just in case someone else has a super secret cool move that would help me in a fight. Cause I know your weaknesses, but not like normal people's.
[They listen as he talks here, smiling a little the more time passes.] Well, I'm happy to help you find new things. And as long as those things also make you happy, I'm glad that you do all those things for me.
[The kisses are definitely enough to very nearly distract him. And the words were definitely...good. Those are boundaries even when he doesn't say them, but they aren't going to push the situation.] I want that, too. [Klaus takes a moment of thinking before attempting to use his training to turn them both over so Nobunaga's the one on his back. This will come with a kiss.] You're the cutest fiancé I've ever had. [A beat] Also the only fiancé I've ever had.
Yeah. And I do want you to train, and have friends, and have fun learning that you can be stronger and that you are the furthest damn thing from useless ever! [Kisses Klaus' temple!] That's why I said maximum options. Got it?
[No no, Nobunaga understood those were boundaries. He had a breakthrough of being able to set some finally!!!]
Cute... hah...
[Eyeroll!] Kichou wasn't a fiancee, does that help? It was going to be a political marriage anyway. But our relationship was always untenable. He's a terrorist now. Rumors circulate that he's become a pirate, but that seems unlikely. [Actually true.]
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She doesn't. She doesn't understand. She's still young, and doesn't want to be seen like that.
And Klaus... you weren't normal. And that's okay, but there were only the 7 of you with powers, and you destroyed the world trying to save it. That's not normal for anyone's timeline.
[And just.... More laughs!]
[And more hugs and head kisses!] Nothing. I love how you are with her. Teyrey doesn't want that for herself. She's like Ieyasu. She said getting thrown in the pool was the worst, and I told her Valdis threw me in, and it was hilarious. But try treating her as different from both Ava, and your siblings. Maybe more like Valdis. A sexy lethal giant hound who might try to seduce you, or eat your soul. At worst, she'll learn she hates it, and grow to appreciate the way things used to be better.
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[More frowning even as they just lean into Nobunaga and the hugs.] Ew. I don’t want to seduce her now.
[Sigh] I will just be the most boring version of myself ever. The less than lukewarm one.
But like…I dunno. Maybe we should just not be friends. Probably easier anyway. And I can just avoid situations where we have to be alone together and then everyone will be happy and no one can be mad because we never speak again!
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Tch... No. [ALL THE HEAD KISSES!!! And picks Klaus up!] You can't avoid her anyway. [Because she is literally under contract to protect Klaus ayyyyy.]
Everyone is prickly sea urchins. Just remember you like her as she is. She is always terse about having fun, because her whole existence is like that part of Diego that goes -- how did you say it? Discount Batman? Vigilante? And the part of Luther from before Regi died when he was still trying to earn his place as Number 1. She wants to prove her competency. When she is not working, not progressing in her goals, she feels lost. Understanding values... she does understand how much it bothers you what she said about your family, okay? So tell her. And show her she can more honest with herself with you too. But I think you already miss her.
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[Klaus is already levitating to make the being picked up easier, just casually wrapping their legs around Nobunaga's waist. It's easy and comfortable and makes them happy.] I can too!
Luther makes more sense. But she's...she expects people to be on the same level and sometimes we're just not. I'm not the only one with weird expectations here. I don't miss anyone. I'm perfectly content to keep my friends list where it is.
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[Top of head kiss!
ow ow the cute it burns.] So I can't joke about shooting you, even with a water gun, but Diego stabs you and if Teyrey is confused about that culture clash, she's insulting your family?[He has a Klaus on him now, yay!] How are you going to avoid her in your heart?
She thinks it's culture, you think it's closeness, I think you're both right. Isn't it the same as me, when I want to break the social rules inhibiting people from attaining their true potential and freedom of selves?
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[There's a pout.] You didn't say with a water gun! Also Diego's never actually stabbed me. Just thrown knives at me. If he wanted to hit me, he would have. And she's insulting my family by saying they aren't loving. She doesn't know us. I don't think she understands love as a real concept. Just like an idea.
By eating ice cream and forgetting. [This is a very petulant response and Klaus is aware of it.]
I'm still not going to be on the level she wants me to be. And I don't want to be. I just...don't know why it's so bad to be close to people and why everything has to be professional 24/7. But I'll just turn my personality off for her and let her see how that works for her. I'll wear beige. See how she feels about THAT!
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I think you might be right about love. Just like you see peace and prosperity like an ideal, not a tangible every day aspect of her reality she constantly made come true every day, one moment at a time and interaction. Isn't that how love works too? [Love!!! ♥ Death! 👿] I told you even partnership contracts like what you an I have only last a few years in her sector. And the can be ended sooner. But she knows love when she sees it. She says we're perfect together, you and me. But she's only hearing about your siblings. Maybe it'd be different if they were here. Are you sure that's not what really upsets you? You miss them, she doesn't fill that void, and maybe you feel a little guilty thinking that void could be filled by anyone else, and you feel like you must be explaining them poorly?
[Head kiss!]
You don't.... [Laughs about the beige!] Ew no! Stick with purple! Or pastels. Or teal or... whatever! [Laughs!] You don't have to be professional with her! We're both explorers, her and me! We love you for expanding our horizons. She'd say "greatly value" but American friendship love, right? The constant act towards achieving the ideal! Just treat her like herself. Understand that she isn't like Ava and your siblings. You're all Americans, remember? It's a huge difference! You make it hard to really shock! Well, you specifically, impossible. I want to. Pratt insists you'll have the funniest reactions but I almost never get them. But in general, Americans seem so radical. It's not just time period either. The British are stuffy. Yuuki is -- reserved and surly isn't the right word, but... conservative definitely. At least in comparison. And I love it! But all that time traveling you never noticed how shocked the rest of the world seemed by you???
And Teyrey's got it even harder! She has no one from any of her star systems, culture, core concepts, food, anything. You said yourself, even peace and prosperity, the foundation of her moral core, who she is and wants to be, seems fake to you.
You're smarter than you like people to know Babe. [Kisses a temple and gently massages a hand down Klaus' chest.] In her case... use it! She already demands and expects it. And you can't let her down worse than making her feel forced to be someone to please you that she can't be. Understood?
I love you.
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I don't see the connection. [He knows all about the partnership contracts, still doesn't fully see the point of them, but that's just...how things go.] She did? [Rude. How is he supposed to be mad now? And then Nobunaga gets even MORE rude.] No. [This is a lie. Klaus does miss them. It's a weird longing because they'll never see each other at this point. Never again. And sure, another version of him is with them and they are together, but that's...not the same thing. They're still alone. Having no siblings feels off.] Ugh. Gross.
[Klaus sighs at that, leaning into Nobunaga for a brief moment]
Am not! [There's a frown, but the feeling of the hand on his chest and the kiss to his temple make him relax a little.] Yes, sir. [Another semi petulant response]
[And a loooooooong sigh] I love you, too.
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I think they see love as an arrangement of convenient circumstances. Meant to promote peace, and prosperity. And what you have with your siblings... is definitely not that, Klaus! [Laughs! And kisses forehead!] So show her! I don't mean throw knives at her, you're not Diego. I mean show her love.
[So cute!!!! Nobunaga affectionately rubs his nose against Klaus'!]
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Ah... [A headtilt.] Was I wrong for that? I figured maximum options would be better? [AHAHAHAH GET IT? MAXIMUM???? He cracks himself up.]
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[Klaus gives him a small look.] I know you did it because you're concerned about me. But I have...I know what I'm doing with Blackbeard. So trust me? If he trusts me enough to listen to me because of this...because we're friends...I can help Pratt. Right? [They reach out for him anyway.] I love you for worrying, though.
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Why are you always like this?!
You say trust you, but when it's me, it's all "Noooo don't WORRY me like that, I'll cry!"
Understand, I've had sex with Valdis, I let her have sex with you, I would fight and spar with her, but I know she could kill me, and it'd be pointless. I do not trust her. You can't just turn Blackbeard into your friend through letting him stab you. If it was that easy, everyone I've ever met would be my friend, and then I wouldn't want to stab anyone after that once. Do you get it?
And Pratt isn't going to be saved by you trying to offer yourself as a stabbing sacrifice. It's insulting. Both to Pratt, and Blackbeard, and yourself. You're worth more than any fucking sacrifice ever created, Baka!
If you want to learn knives with Blackbeard, do it for you! Not for him, not for me, not even for Diego. Isn't that what you said about me and trying to learn to respect everyone's wishes and communicate better? You can't just say "Well I asked and received permission, this is communicating." If I, who never asks permission, but at least I'm bloody fucking God's piss trying, can understand this, why can't you?
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I trust Valdis. [Maybe it's not the smart thing to do, but that's fine.] But you're always talking about doing things to free everyone. Isn't it the same idea?
MAYBE HE WILL! [Klaus is sighing and tired now.] I'm...it's not...I'm just trying to...
It isn't like he has a ton of friends on the ship! [Ugh, now they're annoyed all over again. They're going to go lie face down on the bed and hope for the best] This is also not communicating. For the record. For someone who always talks about how smart I am sometimes I feel like you don't actually mean that.
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So be his friend. But don't lie to both yourself and me, that it's going to change him. That's not the point of friendship. And Pratt can take care of himself, as unbelievable as that sounds. He knows better now, that it won't be sexy like he thought.
I don't...
[Nobunaga's hurt by that. He's trying and yet...] Explain. [Just quietly. Composed.]
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[There’s a sigh] I’m not trying to change him. Just give him someone to rely on and maybe listen to sometimes. I’m not saying it might not go wrong, but I don’t know. And I know Pratt can, but is it wrong to want to help?
[Just curling up on the bed] Sometimes it feels to me like…you ask me to trust you, right? Even if I don’t understand or whatever and I’m trying to. I am. Maybe I have shit to work through on that because of my past. I probably do. But then sometimes it feels like you’re holding me with kid gloves like…like I don’t understand things.
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What does trust mean to you, Klaus?
Then just be Blackbeard's friend. I have never told you not to, have I?
I have never asked you to trust me. And I never will. Such a thing, is not how I work. I want your faith, but only because I work every day to earn it. I don't want your trust. I want you to be skeptical, and able to kill me when no one else can. I hate that Teyrey trusts me. I have told her over and over, I will abuse it, and I will, and I do, keep hurting her and taking advantage of it. And I always will.
I do treat you gently. Because I want to. I want to protect you. You've been through a lot and you've had almost no one in your life offer you simple basics like this. I am much harsher on you than almost anyone else too. Because I have the highest of standards. And I know you can withstand it. So I do things with you I would never with anyone else. I told you the first day we met, I don't want to break you. I'm good at breaking people. On purpose, but even on accident. But you always exceed my expectations. I do not want to hold you back from anything. That is why I told you to date Bash. That is why I cannot tell you NOT to sleep with others, only leave it as your choice, and forever try to be the best so you don't feel inclined to want anyone else.
I think you understand more than I do, Klaus. "Wakaran," in Japanese, means I don't get it. I feel like I say that constantly here. I am forever filled with questions. Because I don't understand.
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I just told you. If you show me on a repeat basis that I can rely on you, then I do. Trust doesn’t have to mean agree with on everything ever. I trust you to tell me when I’m doing something stupid or something you disagree with.
No. But you seem wary about the knives a touch.
Do you want to do those things to her or do you not want to stop doing them? Not an attack, just a question. Clarification. But even she questions you. Trusting or not.
But you can tell me those things. You can tell me. I am not suffering from boundaries. It helps keep things clear and I know you well enough by now to know you say that you’re fine with that, but you’re not. It’s half the reason I was surprised you were the one asking for a threesome. Because you might say one thing and show another. And I know how jealous you get.
But you don’t need to be gentle at the risk of your own feelings. I’m not suffocating. And faith and trust just sound like the same thing to me.
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And Kichou... [HARD FACEPALM! Nearly a slap and donking sound.] Kichou was a sadist, almost as much as I am. He is cruel. Saito Dosan, his father, is worse than even Reginald Hargreaves. He's an evil Uncle too. He tortured Kichou, and Mitsuhide, his nephew. He killed my father, and he almost tortured his whole lands as daimyo. I mention this because... Kichou is the only other person I would have proposed to. But Kichou is a sadist. I am not a masochist, and if he was, our entire relationship would have been a lot healthier, but truthfully, it could never be actually healthy. We are both immensely strong personalities, and he has more rage than even I. I sent him to deal with the Ikkou Ikki, but he failed me. I don't understand what changed, but the next time I saw him, he vowed to never allow peace. And I still don't hate him. I don't hate anyone. Hate is the worst. I don't fear being hated, because it will always hurt its wielder more than anyone else. But I can -- easily, have sex without trusting someone. Everything with Kichou was like a dance to see who would stab each other first. A battle of wills and ideals, and just... highly charged war without letting anyone interfere in our dance.
Let's see, your AU twin got his fingers cut off and fed to him, and you told me you want to prevent that by helping Blackbeard mitigate his stabbing urges, like you mitigate all my anger by letting me bite you, and you wonder why I am a little leery of this? [SIGH.] Klaus. Swords in my time... are taught by tutors. Monks. They teach them to children from the time they are born. Rather, the noble children. The castes -- you understand, they do not allow the other three castes to use the sword. It is a privilege only afforded the samurai, this is something I personally changed. One of those rules you say I am too intense about. They teach them by cutting children. "You can't understand the pain you inflict on others without experiencing it yourself. Always remember this pain. And learn not to fear it, but not seek it." This kind of thing. I will stab you anywhere you wish. But I am never going to be happy with the idea of someone I don't know, cannot trust, stabbing you for their own enjoyment, and you saying, "Teehee! It's okay, we're friends!" If this does not make sense to you, ask Ava or Pratt. But make sure you tell them, it's not just masochism, because I have always offered to stab you too. For that matter, even ask Valdis.
To me... when I say I don't trust... it's yes... I think similar? It is hm... Not just reliability. Predictability. That I know what they'll do and why. That is why I trust motivations but... Trust is... to me, it means I do not try to tear it apart. There is no logic that factors in, I believe words because the person says so, because I have no reason to doubt them. I put the person above my reason. This is not the case. Are you upset that I don't trust you about being stabbed? I'm sorry. I cannot. It is not that I don't trust you, I don't trust them. I haven't met them. If you were getting stabbed by Valdis, I would be okay with it. Maybe this is the problem with sex too. No wait, Sharky. I don't know. I don't know what my problem is, I'm sorry.
If I tell Teyrey something, of course she questions me. She understands: That is what I want. She would immensely disappoint me if she didn't! That would mean she is afraid of me. That she hates me. That's not trust at all.
Trust is -- accepting what someone says about information without checking or comparing to anything else. I couldn't afford that at home. Not after No-- my brother. [The anger from earlier softens completely.] I did... I used to trust him. I'm flattered that Teyrey trusts me, but I've told her constantly to verify everything I say. Because I have my blind spots. Even me. And I don't know where they are, or they wouldn't exist. I've told her, and she agrees, to not believe my words ever, but my actions speak for themselves.
I'm reliable. I don't... think Valdis is for me yet. I think you can trust her implicitly. So... I do trust her with you. I told her the first day I met her, don't protect me, that's not how generals like me work. Protect you. Because then I can still act rationally. And she has given me reasons to trust her in that regard.
Tell you -- [Irritated growl.] No, Klaus. I can't. I told you, I'm glad you understood my jealousy. That I would be hurt or maybe just angry, and there would be consequences. But I'm not as -- in tune with my emotions as I want... or need to be. I'm... I have to rely on your strength for this, I am sorry. It's not because I don't want to suffocate you, it's because... I can't be someone making these kinds of restrictions. I'm... scared. It's not even that I don't trust you. I trust you to know better than me. But it would hurt me. Please... please understand this... this is like the values I tried to bring up. [Ugh why is this so hard?!]
How can faith and trust sound the same to a cult leader? [Laughs, because ehhhh sure why not. And just pokes Klaus' cheek.] Faith is... [A headtilt. A SMILE!] I retract that. It's an optimism that people mean well, they will do their best. I guess that could be a form of trust. I just never thought it that way before? [More laughs! And kisses Klaus' forehead.] I am glad I asked you this. Obviously... faith in gods I don't have. But it is believing they are real without evidence, even with evidence to the contrary. It's a little different, I think, in people, because it's built with time. With recurring successes. Similar to why I trust Valdis with you. Tentative building. But if ever fails, I won't be entirely surprised. Just disappointed.
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There's a weird flash of jealousy about Kichou. He knew about people before, but somehow this one gets him.] I'm sorry about your friend. Or...well...whatever you call him.
[This makes him sit up quietly.] Okay. I guess I get it. I'll try not to get stabbed, okay? But I do that for you because I love you. Because it helps you to be chill. And also because I like it. I don't like being stabbed at least not that I'm aware of. Really only know what that's like from like...being harpooned in the chest.
[Klaus smiles a little, reaching a hand out for him] You're just...it's okay not to want me to sleep with other people. I get it. I don't want to make you jealous or uncomfortable. [They study him for a moment] Boundaries with a romantic partner aren't like...how things were at home. You can let me be free without also causing yourself discomfort. I'm not really sure how to explain it. I know you said like your hawks, you let them be free and they can come back or not. But...it's not...the same exactly. It's not a containment. It's just voicing things you don't want from a relationship. Just like how you say you don't like the idea of me going into a situation where I'll get stabbed because for you it reminds you of how I let you bite me when you get upset. Sometimes you can...say, "These are things that make me uncomfortable." and it it's something we can work through together, then we will. If it's a boundary, then I'll respect it.
[There's an eyebrow arch at that] I'm a fake, buddy. I'm not any form of religious. [There's a nod at his words, though.] Glad I could help.
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Not a friend! [Very hoarsely! And he even shudders!] Definitely not a friend. An ex. The closest I've been to getting dumped I suppose. I asked him to do something I thought no one else had a chance, but I don't know what happened to him. [Kichou timetraveled into the future, though Nobunaga doesn't know this.] He had to go deep undercover in the cult. [Nobunaga comes over, puts his left arm over Klaus' shoulders, laying on his front and gently shooter his lips.] Nothing like you, worry not. And it is like he never showed up.
[Snuggles into Klaus' neck, just breathing in their smell! This is nice.]
Yare yare... Klaus... [Why is he always asking for this??? Values? And yet even now...]
I don't mind you getting stabbed, it's not that I think it's inherently like how I find you sexy and biting you soothes me a million ways. I don't want you to get stabbed, because you don't want to be stabbed. You're so desperate to be friends and help someone you'll do things you don't like to please them. Stop acting like your only worth is in things like this. I love you. You are fantastic, you are brilliant. Find another way. Just be his friend. He likes whips too. I don't even have a problem if you want to practice whips with him because it's fun. I am uncomfortable, however, with you letting him whip you. Do you understand the difference? It's important.
Things I want.... how the hell can I know that? I've never even heard of stuff you have. Choking you with a tie I thought was the hottest thing I've ever done. Then I remembered to show you my whip. Then that was the hottest. Then you convinced me to be your sheathe. So that was the hottest too.
Klaus... I want to make you smile. I want to do things that my head says are really stupid and I will hate, like karaoke, and wearing a lion costume instead of being like everyone else as a demon, and every ice cream flavor in one bowl, and Disco dancing, argh.
[Struck by demonic inspiration, Nobunaga kisses down Klaus forehead and nose and oh so chastely barely ghosts the lips.]
I want to be the one you rely the most on. I want you to always be free, always make friends, always cherish them above all else, but I want to be the only one you return to at night, the only one to help you reach sexual heights, the only one to have your romantic love like this. I want to be the best for you. I want you to be safe, fulfilled and above all else happy. I will turn both of our bad lucks into good, with my own two hands, and your heart that saves me endlessly from my darkness. Because you are the strongest, sweetest, most valuable treasure I've ever met. To know you is to love you. Abd every day I love you more and more. I have never believed in fate and soulmates, but now I do. That's my wedding vows. So remember it.
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[Klaus makes a very quiet note of that] Okay. Not a friend, then. [The arm and the pressure of someone lying on him makes them smile.
They move to put a hand against the back of Nobunaga's head, lightly running his fingers through his hair. It is nice.
And the rest of this makes them frown. Even if he does understand what he's saying here. He doesn't want him to put himself in danger just to be close to someone.] I only want you to whip me, babe. But I do want to give myself a few people to train with because there's different...ways of doing things and being able to fight. Just in case someone else has a super secret cool move that would help me in a fight. Cause I know your weaknesses, but not like normal people's.
[They listen as he talks here, smiling a little the more time passes.] Well, I'm happy to help you find new things. And as long as those things also make you happy, I'm glad that you do all those things for me.
[The kisses are definitely enough to very nearly distract him. And the words were definitely...good. Those are boundaries even when he doesn't say them, but they aren't going to push the situation.] I want that, too. [Klaus takes a moment of thinking before attempting to use his training to turn them both over so Nobunaga's the one on his back. This will come with a kiss.] You're the cutest fiancé I've ever had. [A beat] Also the only fiancé I've ever had.
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Yeah. And I do want you to train, and have friends, and have fun learning that you can be stronger and that you are the furthest damn thing from useless ever! [Kisses Klaus' temple!] That's why I said maximum options. Got it?
[No no, Nobunaga understood those were boundaries. He had a breakthrough of being able to set some finally!!!]
Cute... hah...
[Eyeroll!] Kichou wasn't a fiancee, does that help? It was going to be a political marriage anyway. But our relationship was always untenable. He's a terrorist now. Rumors circulate that he's become a pirate, but that seems unlikely. [Actually true.]
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