Yes. I've done this before. But only really in rehab. Which is...probably safer. [Are they anxious about what might happen? Yeah. Yeah, they are.] Uh...like depends. I've really only been there for months at a time. I...this is going to be a while, I think. Not like forever. It feels like forever, though. But it's not this I'm worried about. I can deal with sweaty and tremors. It's the...I don't really want to deal with the seizures or...anything...the DTs can get bad, but I don't think...I've never had them before, so...I hope it stays that way.
[They sigh, resting their head against him for a time.] I feel sick. Not like...I'll actually throw up, but...ugh. Eating is the worst thing to even think about...but I know I have to...but I also don't want to.
When was the last time you ate? It might be better to just wait until the worst passes. But you have to drink tea or something. Maybe broth? [Gently puts Klaus' head in his lap and strokes his hair. Pretty.]
[Klaus squints before shrugging.] I honestly don’t even know what time it is right now.
[They close their eyes and make only the faintest sound of discontent as they’re moved, but that’s mostly because everything hurts and nothing is okay. Also they’re feeling hot again.] Uggghhh. I’ll probably die if I eat. I might be dead already.
You're not dead yet. You just wish. [More gentle pets and an even more gentle forehead kiss!] A little longer, Babe. It'll be okay. [Squeezes their hand!]
Mmm. It would be easier. [Someone’s being a dramatic little bitch right now. Their eyes are closed, but that’s more about the general desire not to see too much.] Can we lie down. I know I’m gross, but I want to just lie next to you for a little bit. Maybe I’ll feel less sick in a minute. Or I’ll…I dunno. Feel less achey.
[There’s a soft sigh] I feel like an army of very small people has punched me everywhere on my body. All my muscles. [There’s absolutely no hiding the way their hands are shaking or the twitching muscles. It’s uncomfortable to say the least.]
I'll never stop being impressed with how strong you are.
Don't try so hard, Babe. It's okay to just survive for now. Let me take care of the rest. You never really let me do that, you know? Not when it counts.
I don’t care. Not me on the bottom, though. [They just want to be held and to feel like maybe they’re okay for a minute. Even if they’re decidedly not okay.]
I’m not strong. I’m gross.
[He frowns slightly, looking at Nobunaga for a moment. This is a cute moment and he’s thankful for the support. Thankful for the allowance to just exist without expectations. But they didn’t really ever view themselves as a person that didn’t let others handle things for them.] I don’t? I kind of thought I always sort of just let things happen. Like however.
[A soft laugh. Nobunaga gently picks him up oh so tenderly, sits on the end of the couch, and sets Klaus lying down, head still in his lap.]
You're beautiful. I've never known anyone stronger.
No, you don't. You say you will, and then don't. I said I'd take care of things, and you didn't let me. And this time, I nearly had to beg to come back. [Lightly feathers Klaus' hair!] It can't be helped, but things are different now, so just try it. You might like it.
[Klaus just carefully reaches out, fingers lightly starting to grasp the fabric of his pants. They’re just carefully turn themselves to face Nobunaga’s stomach, pressing his face against it lightly.]
Oh. I didn’t mean to make you beg to help. [They let their eyes close again.] I just didn’t want to bother you. [But he was always letting people lean on him and…] Okay. I love you.
[Kisses the top of his head gently.] I love you too.
I just figured you didn't want me to see you like this, or you were worried I couldn't handle it, but I love this side too. I want all of you. I'm selfish. And you shouldn't do this alone. [Pets!] None of your siblings ever sat through this with you?
[Even Nobunaga sat through one of his brother's withdrawals. And his samurai. But it's probably different as the leader of the clan. Then again, Regi...? Well... no.]
I…well, I guess I worried you wouldn’t want to. That you’d hate it. And…also cause this is the least attractive I’ve been…maybe. Not counting throwing up twice. In front of you. [Talk about embarrassing.]
Hm? Oh. We weren’t really talking most of the time?? I guess. Ben was usually the one stuck with me and the one going through it because…well…you know. Ghosts and me.
[Floofs Klaus' hair.] Wasn't ghosts the reason you did drugs? [He's not sure that's helpful... considering.]
[But okay. He'll thank Ben. Maybe?]
I don't know if you've noticed Klaus, but it's very difficult to make me do something I don't want to.
[Ahahahahaha it's funny because it's literally why he dies repeatedly and stuff.]
You should ask anyway. [Flooooofing the hair!] I have let you see me at my worst. Do not think I am so weak I would be happy abandoning you when you need me most. If anything... it is the opposite. You are always my strength, I want to be yours. I said before, did I not? No more one-sided-ness. We are doing things for each other because we want to.
And I think you're gorgeous. [Another gentle kiss to the temple.] I would be in love with you even if I had to be celibate. Though I'm sure we'd both break quickly. [A small laugh.]
[A very slight nod of agreement] At the start anyway...cause I...was you know...ghosts. But then...everything else happened and it was just...you know. That's why it stuck around.
[Okay, nevermind. He's just going to find the strength to just crawl into Nobunaga's lap. Stupid Nobunaga and his stupid words that make him love him even more.] I love you so much. I'm sorry if I made you feel weak or pushed you out. I promise I'll let you be there for me more often.
[There a small laugh] I don't want to never have sex. I just feel like absolute shit right now. But I'd almost let you...except I know I'd regret it. Also if I actually threw up in the middle, it would be the most embarrassing thing I've ever done.
[Ugh... Nobunaga just cries into Klaus' shoulder, gently holding him in a fierce hug.] I could not make love to you this second anyway. Not because you aren't beautiful. [Gently kisses Klaus' hand all over!] I'm so attracted to your strength, that I... even if things happened... [The vomiting.] That wouldn't stop me, but I...
I need to be your strength right now. You are always saving me. Let me do the same. [Stupid crying. But good luck getting Nobunaga to let go ever!] I love you. I love everything about you. It isn't sex I need from you, it's you. [Bwaaaaaah. Just gonna keep crying. Fuck it.] My only spouse in crime....
[Klaus just lets himself be held, moving a trembling hand to run over Nobunaga's hair.] Shhh. It's okay. [Sorry...there's just some...need to help him feel a little better.
He didn't mean to make him cry.] You have me. I'm here. [They press a quick kiss to his temple.] It's okay. We can both be weak at the same time, I think. As long as we're both here together.
[That hurts his heart and he fights against a lack of desire to move all over again and straddles Nobunaga's lap. It's not for sexy reasons and this means they can hug a little more properly. Even if their legs are not fans right now.]
I don't want you to go back to Hell either. [More little temple kisses.] I'm not leaving. I'm right here. I love you. You're stuck with me until you don't want to be anymore.
That's never going to change. [Hiccups again, and all just sad clinging onto Klaus.] I'm going to be with you for infinity. I'll make Skulduggery and the Captain seem like a blip in timeline. I'll learn to live until I can resurrect like you, and nothing will get rid of me.
So don't leave me. Never again. I'll do anything. [Pets Klaus' hair.] We haven't even seen Disney or Velocipastor. And I want to travel with you. And I don't want to try separate rooms. I want to be with you. I don't want people to ever think we're not together. I want everyone to know that I'll do anything you want. [Snuggles and burrows himself in!]
I want you to be the first thing I see every morning, and the last before I sleep. I never want to go a week without hearing your voice. I want to feel safe like this, and make you feel safe too. I want all of you. I don't hold back with you, so don't with me. [All the pets! And leans to the arm of the couch, starting to calm down.] You're my spouse. I want to keep you with me. I felt so lost without you. [Snuggle nuzzle, cling.]
I love you. You're so strong. And pretty. Everyone loves Klaus, but I love you the most.
[Klaus is very quiet for a moment before smiling a little.] I still...think it might be a good idea to get our foundation more solid before we live together. Not because I don't trust you, but I want us to be on even footing and I'm just...a mess right now. I'll get there. I...but maybe it would be a good idea for us to stay together at nights. If I'm able to sleep...well, I think someone else who can tell when things are going wrong...
[They're quiet for a moment, pressing a quick kiss to his forehead.] You don't have to be here all the time...I need to start forcing myself out and talking to people again. I'll check in so you're not worried. So you can be with other people and feel like it's okay. If I tell SecUnit, then it can keep an eye out.
[And another brief quiet moment before.] I love you the most. I think I'm starting to get tired, so maybe we can turn this sofa into a bed and try to get some sleep?
Yes. I always get tired when we talk about this stuff.
What if I just want to be with you?
[Gently nods Klaus' fingers, but oh so gently picks him up and does his best to turn the couch into bed with one free hand.]
I don't want to feel like I messed up anymore. I just want to be with you forever. You should still go be with other friends, but every moment I'm apart from you. I still feel like I'm hollow. Like it's not the real me out there.
[Cuddles Klaus so much.] I'll do whatever it takes to prove myself, but I'm not going to stop. Even now... [Just snuggles.] You underestimated what you mean to me. I'll give up guns if I have to. But I'll never give up on you.
[They are doing their best to levitate, but it's just as shaky as everything else, so it's a lot more clinging.]
Even if you're out there and we're not together, I'm right here. [Prepare for him to poke over your heart.] So we're always together. Just like Phil Collins singing that song in Tarzan said...you'll be in my heart. Yes, you'll be in my heart. From this day on now and forever more. [It started out as just talking, but he couldn't help singing it at the end.]
Aw, babe. [Klaus tiredly moves to press a kiss to whichever part of Nobunaga is closest to him in that moment.] I'd never make you give up guns.
[Klaus kisses Nobunaga's arm, and Nobunaga flexes...] Good, because I'll always have these guns. [See? He can make you happy without alcohol okay, okay.]
[There’s a laugh at the comment about Nobunaga’s “guns”.] Oh. Well, in that case…
[They look at him for a moment, squinting slightly.] I am gonna need a good night kiss before you and your guns wrap around me while we sleep. Also we need to see if there’s fuzzy blankets at the Tommy Bahama tomorrow.
Mm! [Kisses! And just not going to let go. Ever.] It can be another date. Don't be afraid to wake me either. For any reason. I don't care how gross you think it is, you matter. I want to.
[Klaus is going to do his best to make the kiss a little drawn out. They've missed it. Missed the kissing.] I'd love for it to be another date. [Don't mind as they snuggle in close.]
I love you, too. So much. [It might take a little bit, but they are eventually going to fall asleep]
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Yes. I've done this before. But only really in rehab. Which is...probably safer. [Are they anxious about what might happen? Yeah. Yeah, they are.] Uh...like depends. I've really only been there for months at a time. I...this is going to be a while, I think. Not like forever. It feels like forever, though. But it's not this I'm worried about. I can deal with sweaty and tremors. It's the...I don't really want to deal with the seizures or...anything...the DTs can get bad, but I don't think...I've never had them before, so...I hope it stays that way.
[They sigh, resting their head against him for a time.] I feel sick. Not like...I'll actually throw up, but...ugh. Eating is the worst thing to even think about...but I know I have to...but I also don't want to.
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When was the last time you ate? It might be better to just wait until the worst passes. But you have to drink tea or something. Maybe broth? [Gently puts Klaus' head in his lap and strokes his hair. Pretty.]
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[They close their eyes and make only the faintest sound of discontent as they’re moved, but that’s mostly because everything hurts and nothing is okay. Also they’re feeling hot again.] Uggghhh. I’ll probably die if I eat. I might be dead already.
Except then why does everything still hurt?
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You're not dead yet. You just wish. [More gentle pets and an even more gentle forehead kiss!] A little longer, Babe. It'll be okay. [Squeezes their hand!]
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Mmm. It would be easier. [Someone’s being a dramatic little bitch right now. Their eyes are closed, but that’s more about the general desire not to see too much.] Can we lie down. I know I’m gross, but I want to just lie next to you for a little bit. Maybe I’ll feel less sick in a minute. Or I’ll…I dunno. Feel less achey.
[There’s a soft sigh] I feel like an army of very small people has punched me everywhere on my body. All my muscles. [There’s absolutely no hiding the way their hands are shaking or the twitching muscles. It’s uncomfortable to say the least.]
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I'll never stop being impressed with how strong you are.
Don't try so hard, Babe. It's okay to just survive for now. Let me take care of the rest. You never really let me do that, you know? Not when it counts.
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I’m not strong. I’m gross.
[He frowns slightly, looking at Nobunaga for a moment. This is a cute moment and he’s thankful for the support. Thankful for the allowance to just exist without expectations. But they didn’t really ever view themselves as a person that didn’t let others handle things for them.] I don’t? I kind of thought I always sort of just let things happen. Like however.
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You're beautiful. I've never known anyone stronger.
No, you don't. You say you will, and then don't. I said I'd take care of things, and you didn't let me. And this time, I nearly had to beg to come back. [Lightly feathers Klaus' hair!] It can't be helped, but things are different now, so just try it. You might like it.
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Oh. I didn’t mean to make you beg to help. [They let their eyes close again.] I just didn’t want to bother you. [But he was always letting people lean on him and…] Okay. I love you.
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[Kisses the top of his head gently.] I love you too.
I just figured you didn't want me to see you like this, or you were worried I couldn't handle it, but I love this side too. I want all of you. I'm selfish. And you shouldn't do this alone. [Pets!] None of your siblings ever sat through this with you?
[Even Nobunaga sat through one of his brother's withdrawals. And his samurai. But it's probably different as the leader of the clan. Then again, Regi...? Well... no.]
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Hm? Oh. We weren’t really talking most of the time?? I guess. Ben was usually the one stuck with me and the one going through it because…well…you know. Ghosts and me.
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[But okay. He'll thank Ben. Maybe?]
I don't know if you've noticed Klaus, but it's very difficult to make me do something I don't want to.
[Ahahahahaha it's funny because it's literally why he dies repeatedly and stuff.]
You should ask anyway. [Flooooofing the hair!] I have let you see me at my worst. Do not think I am so weak I would be happy abandoning you when you need me most. If anything... it is the opposite. You are always my strength, I want to be yours. I said before, did I not? No more one-sided-ness. We are doing things for each other because we want to.
And I think you're gorgeous. [Another gentle kiss to the temple.] I would be in love with you even if I had to be celibate. Though I'm sure we'd both break quickly. [A small laugh.]
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[Okay, nevermind. He's just going to find the strength to just crawl into Nobunaga's lap. Stupid Nobunaga and his stupid words that make him love him even more.] I love you so much. I'm sorry if I made you feel weak or pushed you out. I promise I'll let you be there for me more often.
[There a small laugh] I don't want to never have sex. I just feel like absolute shit right now. But I'd almost let you...except I know I'd regret it. Also if I actually threw up in the middle, it would be the most embarrassing thing I've ever done.
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[Ugh... Nobunaga just cries into Klaus' shoulder, gently holding him in a fierce hug.] I could not make love to you this second anyway. Not because you aren't beautiful. [Gently kisses Klaus' hand all over!] I'm so attracted to your strength, that I... even if things happened... [The vomiting.] That wouldn't stop me, but I...
I need to be your strength right now. You are always saving me. Let me do the same. [Stupid crying. But good luck getting Nobunaga to let go ever!] I love you. I love everything about you. It isn't sex I need from you, it's you. [Bwaaaaaah. Just gonna keep crying. Fuck it.] My only spouse in crime....
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He didn't mean to make him cry.] You have me. I'm here. [They press a quick kiss to his temple.] It's okay. We can both be weak at the same time, I think. As long as we're both here together.
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You can't die... so... [More hiccups.] Don't leave.
[He's no longer scared of Klaus crying. Just Klaus leaving.]
[And they're both shakey messes, but it's fine. Nobunaga will just never ever let go.] I don't want to go back to Hell. Please. [Just clings.]
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I don't want you to go back to Hell either. [More little temple kisses.] I'm not leaving. I'm right here. I love you. You're stuck with me until you don't want to be anymore.
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So don't leave me. Never again. I'll do anything. [Pets Klaus' hair.] We haven't even seen Disney or Velocipastor. And I want to travel with you. And I don't want to try separate rooms. I want to be with you. I don't want people to ever think we're not together. I want everyone to know that I'll do anything you want. [Snuggles and burrows himself in!]
I want you to be the first thing I see every morning, and the last before I sleep. I never want to go a week without hearing your voice. I want to feel safe like this, and make you feel safe too. I want all of you. I don't hold back with you, so don't with me. [All the pets! And leans to the arm of the couch, starting to calm down.] You're my spouse. I want to keep you with me. I felt so lost without you. [Snuggle nuzzle, cling.]
I love you. You're so strong. And pretty. Everyone loves Klaus, but I love you the most.
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[They're quiet for a moment, pressing a quick kiss to his forehead.] You don't have to be here all the time...I need to start forcing myself out and talking to people again. I'll check in so you're not worried. So you can be with other people and feel like it's okay. If I tell SecUnit, then it can keep an eye out.
[And another brief quiet moment before.] I love you the most. I think I'm starting to get tired, so maybe we can turn this sofa into a bed and try to get some sleep?
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What if I just want to be with you?
[Gently nods Klaus' fingers, but oh so gently picks him up and does his best to turn the couch into bed with one free hand.]
I don't want to feel like I messed up anymore. I just want to be with you forever. You should still go be with other friends, but every moment I'm apart from you. I still feel like I'm hollow. Like it's not the real me out there.
[Cuddles Klaus so much.] I'll do whatever it takes to prove myself, but I'm not going to stop. Even now... [Just snuggles.] You underestimated what you mean to me. I'll give up guns if I have to. But I'll never give up on you.
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[They are doing their best to levitate, but it's just as shaky as everything else, so it's a lot more clinging.]
Even if you're out there and we're not together, I'm right here. [Prepare for him to poke over your heart.] So we're always together. Just like Phil Collins singing that song in Tarzan said...you'll be in my heart. Yes, you'll be in my heart. From this day on now and forever more. [It started out as just talking, but he couldn't help singing it at the end.]
Aw, babe. [Klaus tiredly moves to press a kiss to whichever part of Nobunaga is closest to him in that moment.] I'd never make you give up guns.
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[Klaus kisses Nobunaga's arm, and Nobunaga flexes...] Good, because I'll always have these guns. [See? He can make you happy without alcohol okay, okay.]
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[They look at him for a moment, squinting slightly.] I am gonna need a good night kiss before you and your guns wrap around me while we sleep. Also we need to see if there’s fuzzy blankets at the Tommy Bahama tomorrow.
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I love you.
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I love you, too. So much. [It might take a little bit, but they are eventually going to fall asleep]