makes sense the demon king would be the jealous kind bet hes never had to share probably kinda cute tho cuz hes trying so hard
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww 🥺🥰💓 is this his first relationship? do you get 2 show him all the couple stuff like one milkshake 2 straws wearing each others jackets the yawn into a stretch to put an arm around the others shoulder...
he is. but i forgive him mostly cause he’s like a small, angry kitten which is cute but also prone to biting he’s doing his best for sure. cause like he even lets me hug him without stabbing!!
sort of? there was some mai girl? but i don’t think they were official? but like now i need to show him those things cause i forgot about them i’m taking him on a date to get milkshakes now it will work because he would eat ice cream for every meal probably i don’t even have a jacket to let him borrow booooooo!
well thats good hugging shouldnt come with stabbing even i know that and id probably think the stabbing part is hot
aight we can still salvage the no jacket situation because every cabin here only has one bed so you know - youre tired gotta take a nap and oh no theres only one bed what a terrible inconvenince guess youll have to share whos your roommate? need me to stage a distraction and get them out of there?
that does sound like you i’m less interested sexually speaking in being stabbed like knifeplay could maaaaybe be fun? it feels very diego, though but like if he wanted to be impatient and cut my clothes off, that would be hot but only the tommy bahama
lol. eddie. he’s pretty chill usually just text him 😈🛏 and then he knows to vacate um. but yeah.
hes probably training or doing patrols demon king things happens when you lead an army jacob got up at the asscrack of dawn like 5 am sometimes and would go do the big obstacle course with live amunition meanwhile im barely coherent and falling over my own damn feet im not a morning person at all
hey hey hey you dont get to haha j/k your way out of this none of that shit
he is training he and ari train all the time sometimes i get to go and get thrown around but only after 11 if you ever want to go, let me know you can get thrown around for fun and make sex jokes too
most people call her tarey? she's very formal like a space soldier or something? i could say more, but it might end up being a rant yessss i'm gonna tell them!
[One day Klaus is actually gonna think to look first before opening a fucking door, but it is not today]
[ He'd respond to that message cuz he does know who Tarey is. But instead its time to serve a warrant for illegal use of text based deflection against self deprication.]
Hey yourself. [ Folding his arms. Cop pose activated. ] We gonna try this whole j/k thing again in person?
You ever met Ryan? He's from a world where it's illegal to not use coasters under drinks and he got thrown into bug jail for it.
So yeah - maybe it is illegal here. [Except he's smirking so apparently the punishment for this crime isn't so bad. Except that Pratt fights dirty.] I can do one worse tho, I can tell the Demon King you've been mean to yourself and he'll come after you and make you say nice things.
Bug jail? [What the fuck is bug jail? How do you get arrested by bugs? He doesn't know Ryan, but he definitely questions his habit of getting arrested by bugs.]
What? [Klaus frowns at that.] He doesn't even say nice things about himself! Who is he to tell me what to do, honestly? [Like...their boyfriend, sure.] And maybe I can get naked and that's a lot more distracting.
[Oh no. Not the disappointed face. That's the worst. Grace used to give off the 'I'm not mad, just disappointed' vibes when he'd get arrested for the umpteenth time for drugs. It was the worst.] I'm not afraid of the disappointed face. [A bold-faced LIE.]
I dunno you'll have to ask Ryan, I was pretty fucking hammered at that point so I don't remember much beyond that. And something about them not being allowed to have teeth.
[And having to do paperwork if they did have teeth. Nightmare fuel honestly.]
Yeah, I don't neither, but like.. I can make you say nice things about yourself. That's how this shit works. [Hypocrisy at it's finest.] Okay getting naked is valid, but never know, he might view this as serious business time - not be swayed by dick.
Wow really? Not even a little freaked out by that? That shit always works on me. It's like my kryptonite.
[Who the fuck was Ryan?] Was this the drinking game I missed out on? I'm still mad about it. But that sounds...uh...weird?
[Klaus doesn't know how to feel about that right now.]
Are you sure that you are qualified to do that? I do not think so. You don't even listen to me when I say good things about you! How am I supposed to listen to you under these circumstances?! Impossible. [Klaus tilts their head.] Haven't run into a problem dick can't distract him from yet. Don't like the idea that there is something.
[And then they shake their head...you know...like a liar.] It's like...sooooo last childhood. Mom does it to me all the time.
Yeah. I'd say we should have a redo but I think everyone there learned their lesson. I lost track at about thirteen drinks in, I know Crichton was way past that at one point. Sharky had to carry me back to the ship and I don't even remember that until I woke up in my room totally unsure what day it was. And then faceplanted in the hallway.
No see that's not how this works. I'm supposed to make you have some self-esteem and shit. This isn't about me! You're twisting it. [He huffs and folds his arms.]
Uh-huh. Sure. How about this: we both agree to not shit talk ourselves for a full day and then we go make pizza out of the stuff in the buffet?
That’s just a disappointment to my whole brain. I think I would have won that party for sure. I can drink so much. [Sure he’d definitely have had to be carried back, too, but whatever. It would have been worth it. Also he could have annoyed everyone. It would have been great.]
As if you wouldn’t have done the same thing! [Klaus is not here to fight fair! They are here to win this encounter and also avoid being forced to be nice to themselves. Which is apparently a losing game.]
That’s gonna be hard. Does that mean we have to start at the beginning of the day?
Bro, I believe in you man. You totally would have. [Would have won Never Have I Ever, something that is definitely winnable. Whoever passes out last is the champion?]
This isn't Judge Dredd, I don't have to play by the rules when I am the law!
Yeah but considering neither of us wake up til like... noon, we have a headstart yeah? We got this. [They do not.]
You don't vote for the police yo. You can vote for my boss tho, if you lived in Montana anyway, and I think you'd get eaten alive.
[Pratt only got away with being such an obvious fuckboi because he was literally a police officer and even then he almost got kicked off the force by a douchebag running for senate.]
Wait.. when is Sharky sad?
[The first distraction didn't work but that one sure did!!]
Um. Okay. Sure. But still! Is that like supposed to sound sexy or is this just one of those uncomfortable moments in life? Just to be clear.
[Oh. Oops.]
Like last month after the possession stuff. We cuddled in the hot tub and talked about stuff and I threatened him with the police, but uhhh…you know. I was also drinking and I don’t remember why exactly that was.
Oh.. yeah that.. makes sense. [Weird how if avoiding Sharky so he doesn't find out about Pratt's failed guro attempt with Blackbeard means that Pratt is missing all the fallout from the trauma Sharky's going through from being possessed for a month.] Also I'm the police and he's deff not feeling threatened by me.
Though there's someone I met who used to be LAPD but she's not anymore. Don't remember her name.
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bet hes never had to share
probably kinda cute tho cuz hes trying so hard
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
🥺🥰💓
is this his first relationship?
do you get 2 show him all the couple stuff
like one milkshake 2 straws
wearing each others jackets
the yawn into a stretch to put an arm around the others shoulder...
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mostly cause he’s like a small, angry kitten
which is cute but also prone to biting
he’s doing his best
for sure. cause like he even lets me hug him without stabbing!!
sort of? there was some mai girl?
but i don’t think they were official?
but like now i need to show him those things
cause i forgot about them
i’m taking him on a date to get milkshakes now
it will work because he would eat ice cream for every meal probably
i don’t even have a jacket to let him borrow
booooooo!
wow. you are prepared.
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hugging shouldnt come with stabbing
even i know that and id probably think the stabbing part is hot
aight we can still salvage the no jacket situation
because every cabin here only has one bed so you know - youre tired gotta take a nap and oh no theres only one bed what a terrible inconvenince guess youll have to share
whos your roommate? need me to stage a distraction and get them out of there?
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i’m less interested sexually speaking in being stabbed
like knifeplay could maaaaybe be fun?
it feels very diego, though
but like if he wanted to be impatient and cut my clothes off, that would be hot
but only the tommy bahama
lol.
eddie. he’s pretty chill
usually just text him 😈🛏
and then he knows to vacate
um. but yeah.
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im so proud 🥲
cutting people out of their clothes is pretty damn hot
no lie
cept if you have to walk back 2 your room holding them all bunched up over your junk.
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i have mad skills!
i would probably be fine with that.
or making Nobunaga get me another set of clothes.
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reverse walk of shame i love it
make him go to the tommy bahama and get you something
he caused the problem
he fixes it
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sometimes he brings me food cause he gets up too fucking early
seriously.
but yeah! totally.
i’m in trouble if i fuck this up
who the fuck is gonna put up with me?
haha. jk.
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demon king things
happens when you lead an army
jacob got up at the asscrack of dawn like 5 am sometimes and would go do the big obstacle course with live amunition
meanwhile im barely coherent and falling over my own damn feet
im not a morning person at all
hey hey hey
you dont get to haha j/k your way out of this
none of that shit
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he and ari train all the time
sometimes i get to go and get thrown around
but only after 11
if you ever want to go, let me know
you can get thrown around for fun and make sex jokes too
sure i do
i just did it 👻
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absolutely
whos ari?
but yes i definitely want to get thrown around
and i will make so many sex jokes
🤬👎👮♂️🫵👀
[And like 2 minutes later: knock knock motherfucker.]
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she's very formal
like a space soldier or something?
i could say more, but it might end up being a rant
yessss
i'm gonna tell them!
[One day Klaus is actually gonna think to look first before opening a fucking door, but it is not today]
Oh......heeeeeey, buddy.
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Hey yourself. [ Folding his arms. Cop pose activated. ] We gonna try this whole j/k thing again in person?
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It’s not illegal, so you can’t arrest me! [Yep. Totally works.] It still stands!!
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So yeah - maybe it is illegal here. [Except he's smirking so apparently the punishment for this crime isn't so bad. Except that Pratt fights dirty.] I can do one worse tho, I can tell the Demon King you've been mean to yourself and he'll come after you and make you say nice things.
Maybe give you the disappointed face.
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What? [Klaus frowns at that.] He doesn't even say nice things about himself! Who is he to tell me what to do, honestly? [Like...their boyfriend, sure.] And maybe I can get naked and that's a lot more distracting.
[Oh no. Not the disappointed face. That's the worst. Grace used to give off the 'I'm not mad, just disappointed' vibes when he'd get arrested for the umpteenth time for drugs. It was the worst.] I'm not afraid of the disappointed face. [A bold-faced LIE.]
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[And having to do paperwork if they did have teeth. Nightmare fuel honestly.]
Yeah, I don't neither, but like.. I can make you say nice things about yourself. That's how this shit works. [Hypocrisy at it's finest.] Okay getting naked is valid, but never know, he might view this as serious business time - not be swayed by dick.
Wow really? Not even a little freaked out by that? That shit always works on me. It's like my kryptonite.
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[Klaus doesn't know how to feel about that right now.]
Are you sure that you are qualified to do that? I do not think so. You don't even listen to me when I say good things about you! How am I supposed to listen to you under these circumstances?! Impossible. [Klaus tilts their head.] Haven't run into a problem dick can't distract him from yet. Don't like the idea that there is something.
[And then they shake their head...you know...like a liar.] It's like...sooooo last childhood. Mom does it to me all the time.
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No see that's not how this works. I'm supposed to make you have some self-esteem and shit. This isn't about me! You're twisting it. [He huffs and folds his arms.]
Uh-huh. Sure. How about this: we both agree to not shit talk ourselves for a full day and then we go make pizza out of the stuff in the buffet?
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As if you wouldn’t have done the same thing! [Klaus is not here to fight fair! They are here to win this encounter and also avoid being forced to be nice to themselves. Which is apparently a losing game.]
That’s gonna be hard. Does that mean we have to start at the beginning of the day?
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This isn't Judge Dredd, I don't have to play by the rules when I am the law!
Yeah but considering neither of us wake up til like... noon, we have a headstart yeah? We got this. [They do not.]
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[Or not.] I didn't vote for you! [Does this matter? No, it does not!] This only counts when I use it against Sharky for being sad!
Oh. Yeah. You have a point. That is less time! [Ignoring that Klaus tends to be up late and also varying levels of drunk.]
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[Pratt only got away with being such an obvious fuckboi because he was literally a police officer and even then he almost got kicked off the force by a douchebag running for senate.]
Wait.. when is Sharky sad?
[The first distraction didn't work but that one sure did!!]
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[Oh. Oops.]
Like last month after the possession stuff. We cuddled in the hot tub and talked about stuff and I threatened him with the police, but uhhh…you know. I was also drinking and I don’t remember why exactly that was.
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Oh.. yeah that.. makes sense. [Weird how if avoiding Sharky so he doesn't find out about Pratt's failed guro attempt with Blackbeard means that Pratt is missing all the fallout from the trauma Sharky's going through from being possessed for a month.] Also I'm the police and he's deff not feeling threatened by me.
Though there's someone I met who used to be LAPD but she's not anymore. Don't remember her name.
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