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[busball]

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[theweakhavepurpose]

awwww dude that shit is adorable
you 2 are cute

stabbing is part of the knives but stab something else
dont make him demo how to knife by stabbing you
you wont learn shit that way
unless what you wanna learn is how to bleed out cuz then yea - good plan

bro i can imagine
i bet you look all sultry & shit
blackbeard looks like a football player who didnt have a mirror when doing those eye stripe things
or like maybe he ate shoe polish

[busball]

we're doing our best
like for real

i mean yeah. i'm gonna learn that too
i dunno. either way
i bet i can distract him somehow

you're right. i do.
yeaaaah. probably just never got make up lessons
so i gotta fix that shit.
eugh. shoe polish. would would eat that?

[theweakhavepurpose]

your doing better than most of my relationships where we didnt talk about shit like that til it was too late
usually immediately after i majorly fucked up
so like
you guys are cute AND got your shit together

are u gonna do a makeover on blackbeard
seriously?
thats fucking amazeballs

[busball]

tbf i asked because i’d agreed to a sort of coffee date with bash and was like
oh yeah…is this fine? are we open like this?
and he got reeeeaaaaal weird about it.
like insisting i go on a date to prove he was the best
soooooo lol. i almost super fucked up.
i did run into bash at the coffee place, but kept it to just flirting.
so you know. woops?

i don’t know if i will, but i’m damn sure gonna try
i’ll take pictures.

[theweakhavepurpose]

oh bash is super sexy
you should totally hit that
and he smells so damn good
which is weird but he does

oh man did he like make competing dates to prove he could do dates the best?
no thats too cute
this dude is a demon king? and not like a high school student with a crush whos writing your name in hearts on his binder????

[busball]

he totally is
it's like just a fucking vibe
but i'm pretty sure that would not go over well

no cause it was a weird vibe. a jealous vibe.
i mean, we had a date in the spirit halloween.
after crichton died? it started as an investigation and turned into trying on costumes
i have a lot of costumes now
but yeah. he is a demon king
suuuuuper easy to get to do things
you should see his face when you just hold his hand in public
you know that surprised pikachu meme? yeah, that's his face.
plus blushing.

[theweakhavepurpose]

makes sense the demon king would be the jealous kind
bet hes never had to share
probably kinda cute tho cuz hes trying so hard

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
🥺🥰💓
is this his first relationship?
do you get 2 show him all the couple stuff
like one milkshake 2 straws
wearing each others jackets
the yawn into a stretch to put an arm around the others shoulder...

[busball]

he is. but i forgive him
mostly cause he’s like a small, angry kitten
which is cute but also prone to biting
he’s doing his best
for sure. cause like he even lets me hug him without stabbing!!

sort of? there was some mai girl?
but i don’t think they were official?
but like now i need to show him those things
cause i forgot about them
i’m taking him on a date to get milkshakes now
it will work because he would eat ice cream for every meal probably
i don’t even have a jacket to let him borrow
booooooo!

wow. you are prepared.

[theweakhavepurpose]

well thats good
hugging shouldnt come with stabbing
even i know that and id probably think the stabbing part is hot

aight we can still salvage the no jacket situation
because every cabin here only has one bed so you know - youre tired gotta take a nap and oh no theres only one bed what a terrible inconvenince guess youll have to share
whos your roommate? need me to stage a distraction and get them out of there?

[busball]

that does sound like you
i’m less interested sexually speaking in being stabbed
like knifeplay could maaaaybe be fun?
it feels very diego, though
but like if he wanted to be impatient and cut my clothes off, that would be hot
but only the tommy bahama

lol.
eddie. he’s pretty chill
usually just text him 😈🛏
and then he knows to vacate
um. but yeah.

[theweakhavepurpose]

look at u so good at emojis already
im so proud 🥲

cutting people out of their clothes is pretty damn hot
no lie
cept if you have to walk back 2 your room holding them all bunched up over your junk.

[busball]

ikr? i’m doing so good!!
i have mad skills!

i would probably be fine with that.
or making Nobunaga get me another set of clothes.

[theweakhavepurpose]

ha!!
reverse walk of shame i love it
make him go to the tommy bahama and get you something
he caused the problem
he fixes it

[busball]

totally! haha. he would do it, too
sometimes he brings me food cause he gets up too fucking early
seriously.
but yeah! totally.

i’m in trouble if i fuck this up
who the fuck is gonna put up with me?

haha. jk.

[theweakhavepurpose]

hes probably training or doing patrols
demon king things
happens when you lead an army
jacob got up at the asscrack of dawn like 5 am sometimes and would go do the big obstacle course with live amunition
meanwhile im barely coherent and falling over my own damn feet
im not a morning person at all

hey hey hey
you dont get to haha j/k your way out of this
none of that shit

[busball]

he is training
he and ari train all the time
sometimes i get to go and get thrown around
but only after 11
if you ever want to go, let me know
you can get thrown around for fun and make sex jokes too

sure i do
i just did it 👻

[theweakhavepurpose]

yes
absolutely
whos ari?
but yes i definitely want to get thrown around
and i will make so many sex jokes

🤬👎👮‍♂️🫵👀


[And like 2 minutes later: knock knock motherfucker.]

[busball]

most people call her tarey?
she's very formal
like a space soldier or something?
i could say more, but it might end up being a rant
yessss
i'm gonna tell them!

[One day Klaus is actually gonna think to look first before opening a fucking door, but it is not today]

Oh......heeeeeey, buddy.

[theweakhavepurpose]

[ He'd respond to that message cuz he does know who Tarey is. But instead its time to serve a warrant for illegal use of text based deflection against self deprication.]

Hey yourself. [ Folding his arms. Cop pose activated. ] We gonna try this whole j/k thing again in person?

[busball]

[There’s a quick grin and Klaus really considers slamming the door except that seems mean, so…]

It’s not illegal, so you can’t arrest me! [Yep. Totally works.] It still stands!!

[theweakhavepurpose]

You ever met Ryan? He's from a world where it's illegal to not use coasters under drinks and he got thrown into bug jail for it.

So yeah - maybe it is illegal here. [Except he's smirking so apparently the punishment for this crime isn't so bad. Except that Pratt fights dirty.] I can do one worse tho, I can tell the Demon King you've been mean to yourself and he'll come after you and make you say nice things.

Maybe give you the disappointed face.

[busball]

Bug jail? [What the fuck is bug jail? How do you get arrested by bugs? He doesn't know Ryan, but he definitely questions his habit of getting arrested by bugs.]

What? [Klaus frowns at that.] He doesn't even say nice things about himself! Who is he to tell me what to do, honestly? [Like...their boyfriend, sure.] And maybe I can get naked and that's a lot more distracting.

[Oh no. Not the disappointed face. That's the worst. Grace used to give off the 'I'm not mad, just disappointed' vibes when he'd get arrested for the umpteenth time for drugs. It was the worst.] I'm not afraid of the disappointed face. [A bold-faced LIE.]

[theweakhavepurpose]

I dunno you'll have to ask Ryan, I was pretty fucking hammered at that point so I don't remember much beyond that. And something about them not being allowed to have teeth.

[And having to do paperwork if they did have teeth. Nightmare fuel honestly.]

Yeah, I don't neither, but like.. I can make you say nice things about yourself. That's how this shit works. [Hypocrisy at it's finest.] Okay getting naked is valid, but never know, he might view this as serious business time - not be swayed by dick.

Wow really? Not even a little freaked out by that? That shit always works on me. It's like my kryptonite.

[busball]

[Who the fuck was Ryan?] Was this the drinking game I missed out on? I'm still mad about it. But that sounds...uh...weird?

[Klaus doesn't know how to feel about that right now.]

Are you sure that you are qualified to do that? I do not think so. You don't even listen to me when I say good things about you! How am I supposed to listen to you under these circumstances?! Impossible. [Klaus tilts their head.] Haven't run into a problem dick can't distract him from yet. Don't like the idea that there is something.

[And then they shake their head...you know...like a liar.] It's like...sooooo last childhood. Mom does it to me all the time.

[theweakhavepurpose]

Yeah. I'd say we should have a redo but I think everyone there learned their lesson. I lost track at about thirteen drinks in, I know Crichton was way past that at one point. Sharky had to carry me back to the ship and I don't even remember that until I woke up in my room totally unsure what day it was. And then faceplanted in the hallway.

No see that's not how this works. I'm supposed to make you have some self-esteem and shit. This isn't about me! You're twisting it. [He huffs and folds his arms.]

Uh-huh. Sure. How about this: we both agree to not shit talk ourselves for a full day and then we go make pizza out of the stuff in the buffet?