[The sound of Nobunaga's voice makes him angry and if it wouldn't be a waste of alcohol, he'd throw the bottle at him, but he doesn't. Instead he just quietly opens the door, staring out at him.
Drunk brain is not the best brain for this.]
Why do you...hate me? You said you would cut me out and then you act like I did something! I didn't! I'm not going to be some weak, worthless person you keep around because...because...I don't know...
[There is a million kinds of things Nobunaga would have liked to say and do. He has never been to a desert, but the sight of Klaus made him instantly understand the idea of someplace suffering a drought, barren, hot, dusty, devoid of rain and life, and then at the tiniest shred, desperately soaking it in, even though it could destroy everything, it was too much, an assault on the senses!]
[He doesn't move. He CANNOT.]
[When did Nobunaga become this weak pathetic frail old man who was scared to death of hurting the ones he loved most? Always, but also when Klaus walked away.]
[He wants to choke Klaus. To shut up that lying voice!!! Klaus is better than he feared, by a long shot, and Nobunaga is weirdly proud of it. But still so much worse than he would have liked. That's Nobunaga's fault, isnt it? If he was stronger, he would have cut this off sooner. Prevented it entirely! Not dating Klaus, but rather letting Klaus run away. Maybe Nobunaga was using Klaus to punish himself for failure. Or maybe he was just truly too damn weak, because even now, he feels broken beyond repair. The kind of useless weapon that could only endanger, not save.]
I have told you, Lucky Number.
[Klaus can't stop him. Maybe he'll plays this off as hallucinations, just needing to give them both respite. Oda's sleeveless, and he hasn't done anything to change his 4 tattoo. It wasn't even faith he could fix this. Genuinely, just pure fucking stubbornness.]
Nothing anyone ever does can make me hate you, or anyone else. Not you, not Reginald Hargreaves. Not the Captain, not Skulduggery, not Yato, or anyone in my past or yours. The day I hate, is the day it's not me. Another possession. So rev up Bootylicious and strike me down.
[So much he wanted to do. Kiss Klaus, bite them, strangle them, tuck them into bed and sing a lullaby guarding their sleep. But he does nothing yet. Words not actions. That is what they said. And that is what he'll do.]
You are the strongest person I have met in any realm. [Right now he will say more than Maeve. Purely an ego thing!!! If Klaus isn't strong, then how can he bowl over people stronger? So obviously Klaus is the strongest! Of course!!!] Even now, you're standing in front of me. If our situations were reversed? I could not.
Stop listening to your lying voice. I told you, it is lies. Maybe I must crush this at its root.
First off Klaus, [He hates how icy his voice sounds. Not in the damnation way of hate, but detest. It can't be helped. Oda's broken. The only way he's standing is relying on freezing the shattered pieces so they don't all fall down. So he did it to himself, fine. But even Kennyo would have agreed, it was still coming from a place of love at the start.] There is no one too weak to join the Oda forces or family. I do not make everyone combatants. My goal has always been to move us past it.
[Peace. Peace and Prosperity. Nobunaga hadn't made it his goals here, hadn't thought it possible, worth it, or necessary. He knew better now. He had in Japan, that was the dream there, the impossible wish, he would absolutely do it here. He feels demonically inspired, ready to command Teyrey to draw up a new charter for them. And better still, demand Valdis help. Is this all that just SEEING KLAUS AGAIN HEALED?! It made him want to laugh hysterically-- and rage enough to tear about a mountain on his absolutely very own, with nearly bare hands!]
You did the same as Kichou. You doubted my ability to do the impossible, and you didn't even let me try. [He is angry. And so very excruciatingly hurt by that. But he keeps it together not to cry in the middle of the hallway.]
[We could have gone all the way to the great wall of China, if you only had a little more faith in me--]
[FUCK OFF BILLY JOEL!]
[No one has time for that shit!]
[It keeps playing in the background of his head enough he wonders if someone is playing it from their cabin even!]
No one is useless.
[It's so deathly quiet. And icy. Of everything else, Klaus could have missed that Nobunaga is paranoid, childish, prone to mercurial mood swings, un-fucking-caring about people's emotions because he prioritizes actions, and more keen: resuits, but he should never ever EVER miss that Nobunaga hated the castes and what that really meant or entailed.]
People aren't meant for suffering. They're meant to enjoy existence. Explore, create, produce. [The difference between Nobunaga and the Captain. Nobunaga was a human acting like a demon, the Captain was a demon acting like a human. Nobunaga understood ambition and apotheosis NOT just for himself. For everyone. You needed three things in life for prosperity. Basic needs met: from food, shelter, to even luxuries and entertainment. Two: relationships with each other of all kinds. From enemies to lovers to friends to families and everything in between. - though of course it was still the Captain's nature to use this against people, he could probably see now why it was best to just... NOT. But third: capacity to meet one's dreams and ambitions, especially the most extremely impossible radical ones.]
What do you think is the strongest power on this ship? Ava's? Skulduggery's? Dimitri's? Bash's? You're wrong. It's none of those. It's the musicians. [Valdis' had such a heavy cost, that its utility was great, but its economics were excruciating! And in the end, war is just economics, nothing more.] If we're powered by emotions, then musicians all about emotions have the strongest ability far outweighing anything the Captain can do.
Do you think that someone, such as I, who worked so tirelessly, whom you repeatedly told not to be so frighteningly intense about wanting to destroy the stupid caste rules and laws holding back everyone from every layer, [There's that intensity! It's not even a crack in the ice while you skate on it. It's an avalanche, threatening to sweep away everything and anything that couldn't correct course or go high enough above it!] Would then decide that discarding an entire person, without a single chance for redemption or course correction--
[He's getting so worked up, but it just tightens the words, not a crack splitting the thawing ice, instead the avalanche thundering closer and worse.]
Is a reasonable choice to make, when there is even a sliver of a possibility to find a better way? [He can feel his fucking demon aura from hell behind him! All the weeks of pent up emotion, conviction, anger, hurt, but more importantly, he just can't hold it back. Like the avalanche is at his back but still, he will hold it back with his stupid brick wall he hand built layer by layer, because that's what does: the impossible!]
Or perhaps do you think, I expected someone who throws birthday cakes at parties and fire extinguishers at wormholes, whom I know to be the strongest I have ever met, who said they would be their own weapon, to pick up what I put down, and instead of embracing the inevitable end--
[Deep fucking breath. He's holding up under the strain, but barely! And not well.]
Would do the impossible with me? Defy the rules. Remember that I reject saving myself constantly, [SUCH a feral snarl!] And must be rescued not for my own sake-- [The wall breaks. Nobunaga's Bei did its best. It was meant for assassins and war, after all, not avalanches. But it did enough. It stopped the momentum all that's left now is force.] But For Those WHO GIVE A DAMN ABOUT Me.
[The avalanche has landed. There are rumblings in the distance, probably a joke to make about Fleetwood Mac's Landslide, but it won't be from Nobunaga. He's not calm, but he hasn't moved once. Unprecedented for the fidgety physically affectionate Demon King who preferred to let his hands do the talking.]
What does the cute cursed secret genius strongest of all time, but egregiously disappointed me ex have to say? [It's almost his usual playful tone. Except his eyes are ice, and his face is wrath and pain.] Do you think perhaps I meant someone who couldn't spare a thought to try something other than let the Captain and Skulduggery punish themselves, because magic, would be hurt so greatly being near me they should indeed run as you did, because they're much too weak to choose it for themselves -- or perhaps, you'd rather listen to your lying voice, because you've decided to choose it over your happiness and welfare.
[His voice slips into his demon king voice. All intense, low, raspy.] Choose carefully.
[There's way too much for one very drunk brain to process in this moment and he just lets himself slowly sink down on the floor because even standing is too much energy. They're too drunk to levitate right now and they just want to just...stop thinking and stop listening. It's so much that they can't actually remember everything he's said.]
I am drunk. And you just said a lot of words.
[There's a moment of just trying to...figure out what he said again. What was the most important parts of the yelling and angry words at this point? Klaus gets that he's upset by what happened.] I tried...to tell you both it wasn't the time for...for whatever you were doing. Especially if Skulduggery asked for this specifically. There was...a reason. But you didn't listen to me. I was...I was just supposed to know you didn't mean you were going to cut me out of your life? Cause like...you seemed very serious about it. I know you said it to Valdis but...it felt...it felt like...you also said it to me.
[Most of these words are slurred because...drunk.] I do give a damn, but...you hurt me, too. You said things you know would hurt Valdis and...I think you knew I would also hear them...and then...you just...acted like everything was fine and normal like you hadn't said anything at all. You can't blame me for all your choices for all the things that happened. It's not me. I...I deserve not to have hurtful things said to me because something didn't go the way you wanted.
[There's a little sniffle here] And don't you ever compare me to him again. I'm nothing like him. You're just mad at me for not being able to know what you were doing and just going with it when you could have died...and you could have died for nothing. [God, they are so drunk right now. Just gonna...lie...on the floor. This is fine.] Please. If you're going to kill me for whatever betrayal you're feeling, can you just do it. I'm tired.
Edited (cause...reasons) Date: 2023-01-03 03:40 am (UTC)
[Rage sorrow, wanting to kick the wall, fuck Skulduggery, fuck Valdis, emotions--]
[Klaus is on the floor. And Yato needs Nobunaga to be his best, not his worst.]
[He sits down on the floor with Klaus.]
[And debates petting their hair, but it might hurt. Him? Klaus? One or both of them.]
[Never compare Klaus to Kichou? Don't fucking act like him then. But that's not fair, because he didn't know Kichou so he couldn't avoid it. Fine.]
You're right, good job, Klaus. You deserve not to have hurtful things said for any reason. That wasn't the reason, but it's not like I had the time to tell anyone other than Yato what I was thinking.
[What the actual fuck, Klaus?]
[Nobunaga doesn't know if he should be insulted, hurt, or even worried. He's too boggled. Oda just takes off his weapons belt and hands it to Klaus, gently placing his precious weapons in their hands, and then starts taking off various hidden knives and other weapons, even the whip, though that's far away from Klaus, behind Nobunaga. This is not playtime.]
Bold of you to think I'd let you off so easily. This is not a "death do us part" situation, love. You said it requires work. I'm putting in the effort and time.
I'm not going to die. I got scared of Valdis. I didn't want to make you cry. Fuckload of good that did. Yato said he'll never let any harm come to me, got it? I'm not protecting him, he's protecting me. And then we can protect everyone I love together.
Foolish immortal. What is the point of easing your torment so easily? Mwahahaha. [ :| yes. It's lacking his usual boyish impish playfulness. It's still icy. But it's there.]
Klaus, I told you from the start. Even if you broke up with me, I'd try everything all over again. I'm sorry it took so long, but I've been in agony. I couldn't say your name without wanting to cry.
You told me to communicate, but you didn't ask me what I was thinking either. You could have just... bent down and said "Nobunaga keep your hands to yourself, and focus only on me. You went too far with Valdis, and it hurt me. You don't want to hurt me like that, right?"
And I'd say "Noooo," so you could say, "Why did you do that? You promised to consider how you affect others." And I'd say, "That's just it, I don't want anyone to die. We can circumvent people sacrifice. People should do what they actually want, even the Captain," And you'd be like, "Uggggggh you're so stupid! Why don't you understand anything?! It's how the magic works! Just shut up and stop literally picking a fight with the laws of the universe!" And I'd say... "No, I will fight the laws of the universe, and you know why? Because who's going to enforce it? The rule police? At least then we can fight them and change the rules." And--
[Should he stop playing out this dumbass scenario?]
[Too many words?]
Klaus. I told you. If it was me, try any last ditch efforts you've got. I'm sure Skulduggery didn't want more people hurt, and the Captain was honoring that.
But that just means don't honor my selfishness. Honor your own. I love you for how smart you are and come up with crazy solutions to take things into your own hands. I'm not blaming you for my choices. I'm still hurt you didn't try. Not to talk to me, not to change things. Maybe... you didn't think you had so much to lose back then. Because you figured your siblings will Survivor it the song with you. But that makes me feel like the only way for you to be happy is to be your sibling. And I can't. So what should I do?
[If Klaus wasn't already on the floor, he'd probably have laid on it again.] That's how it seemed. [All muffled, still mostly slurred.
But then there's the weight of weapons in his hands and around him and he just looks over at Nobunaga in confusion. And then they're trying to keep up with all the dramatic reenactments of things that never happened.]
Still drunk.
[But there's a tired longing that's just existing there, something reaching out and they feel weak for it. Valdis said they were too good for Nobunaga. Ava said something similar, but Erin said they should talk. But he's far too drunk for reasonable conversation or reasonable thinking. Which is why they just drag themselves over all the weapons between them and put their head on his knee.] Mm too drunk for talking.
[For all Klaus is upset and has been crying, he's also exhausted. Nobunaga certainly doesn't realize how many times Klaus has slept on floors since they got back, so this is fine. If Eddie wakes up and finds them there, it's probably not even a question.
But they wouldn't blame him if he did disappear in the night. For now, though, Klaus is just going to fall asleep, hugging Nobunaga's weapons to his chest, head on his knee. This is probably fine.]
[Nobunaga had only been sleeping when Ari literally made him, and even then a little reluctantly, but he wants her to know how much he trusts and respects that she is protecting him, so he lets her do it. Still, it's different with Klaus. It always has been. So of course he falls asleep on Klaus' head. He's pretty emotionally drained too, and that always takes a lot out of him. Every time.]
[Waking up is about three hundred years of pain at once. There's the pounding in his head and their stomach is upset. He goes to push himself off the floor, but there's something on top of him just slightly. On opening his eyes, things from the night before sort of start creeping in.] Fuck me.
[That is not an invitation. It's a lamentation. They carefully move themselves because they realize they are about to be very sick. They'd apologize, but the time for action is now and there's two doors between him and the bathroom. So they are just getting up and rushing off to the bathroom, the door left open in their wake.
Once they get to the bathroom, there's an unfortunate amount of vomiting happening and they feel like death.] God, someone kill me.
[DRYLY:] That could be arranged. [Nobunaga didn't grab all the weapons, just the most important two and strapped them on. But he holds back Klaus' hair.]
[Does he offer them a shower?]
[NO SEX.]
[Just --]
[Sigh.]
Sorry. I should have brought more green tea. You said no presents, but I didn't have to listen.
[Once they've finished throwing up and the subsequent dry heaving that feels somehow even worse than actually throwing up, they're just going to lay there, head on the toilet seat.] You have enough weapons for it. [Sure, this could have been about the 'fuck me' comment, but Klaus is wagering on it being about the getting killed instead.
Part of him just wants to lay on the floor again and wait for death to take him because he feels like shit. And this is what he meant when he was talking to Valdis. This really had to stop. This wasn't helping. It was just fucking them up even worse.]
I didn't want presents. [They look up at him, eyes bleary. Whatever anger and yelling they had in them last night is gone now. It's just pure exhaustion.] I feel like shit.
[He meant both about -- all of it. Not wanting presents (feeling like he didn't deserve them.) And feeling like shit. But Nobunaga is still in the torture phase of this... whatever. Marriage. APPARENTLY?!]
Do you feel capable of taking a shower without help? I will still wear... something. Under my armor. But I'll have to get the other weapons from the hall.
It's kind of weird to think about the fact that they'd married each other over two weeks ago and now here they are and everything feels so terrible.]
Yeah. Probably. Maybe. [But the desire to move is where the problem is. But...yeah. That's fair. Can't leave his weapons in the hallway. Even if part of them feels like it would serve him right.] Just let me...sit here for...like a minute.
[Everything feels dumb and stupid and he's pretty sure he'd rather die than deal with this right now. But there's not really anything else to do.
After a moment, they just pull themselves up off the floor, starting to undress because this is a shower and it's probably fair because they haven't really showered a lot recently. It's just been a sort of self care downgrade.]
[Nobunaga would have said that is what would happen. But he didn't predict Klaus giving up on him. That was why he acted like he hadn't said anything, he figured Klaus could just yell at him if he wanted, but... Clearly not.]
Do I need to get soaps? [He got so much at the resort, but it's all in his room which he hasn't been to except for clothes, and even then because it beat Tommy Bahamas where they somehow(?!) spent more time together.] I guess if you don't have enough here, this is just a rinse, but you should try again without me.
[Klaus looks up, blinking quietly for a moment.] I have soap. [They're just staring right now again because everything feels weird and nothing feels right. He feels better since throwing up, but they're still not really feeling their best.
Ugh, but Erin said they needed to talk.] I...don't remember everything that happened...exactly. Last night.
Me neither. [A flicker.] The words. I remember the actions. We didn't fuck. Not that I could. [Snort.]
[HOW IS KLAUS SEXY EVEN IN GRAYSCALE?!?!?! IS THERE LITERALLY ANYTHING THIS IS GOOD FOR?!?!?]
[He wants pictures. Oh. He has some... Somewhere.]
[At least he's still too fucked up to get turned on.]
[Down to the bare minimum but still covered head to toe in clothes, he'll just... burn the pants later maybe. Or launder them, what the fuck ever.]
[And climbs in, to help Klaus shower. Just bros being bros. No homo. Even though they're married. Yes. And have done this before much sexier. Whatever. It's fine.]
I sent you a song. Perhaps that was cruel. [Well, no. It was cruel, but he's a sadist, so.] It seemed more important at the time. And less like I was trying to romance you than if I sent you an emoji haiku.
I did offer to bring presents, but that wasn't to romance you either, just a shameless bribe to make sure you weren't dying.
[Scrubs Klaus hair! SO PRETTY! Highly neglected!] You should ask Jeff what he uses for his hair. It might not work the same, but I think he could help.
I sure hope we didn’t. [He knows what that sounds like, but that’s not how he means it] If I can’t remember things, no one should be trying to fuck me. [Psh. Not that he could. NOT THAT HE COULD?! No. That’s a good thing.]
[Klaus puts his left hand up to help him balance. If Nobunaga’s paying attention, the very obvious umbrella tattoo on his forearm was not there the last time they spoke. Stupid Umbrella Academy.
It actually feels nice to be in the shower and nicer still to have someone washing his hair. It’s just also mildly annoying that it’s Nobunaga right now.]
I remember…something? Not really the words. [But it’ll be there on the phone.] I don’t feel incredibly romanced, so…I guess you managed not to romance me since you didn’t want to. [And they’re not really sure why they feel mad about that.]
Why do I care what Jeff uses? [It takes all his power not to tell Nobunaga to maybe marry Jeff’s shampoo out of petulance. Jeff’s not bad people and Klaus doesn’t want to say mean things about him. There’s a sigh and they close their eyes, head tilting slightly into the fingers scrubbing it.] Sorry.
[He notices the umbrella tattoo, yes. He wonders why of all things, but whatever, one tattoo at a time maybe?]
[Nobunaga hasn't taken off the 4 tattoo, and never will, but it's covered up right now.]
[................ Jealous Klaus is so cute and Nobunaga starts to smile, bend over to kiss Klaus' shoulders -- and jerks himself back hard well before he gets anywhere Klaus could have easily sensed it. Nobunaga's crying, but hopes it can't be seen in the shower. Luckily his eyes are colored red normally.]
He's like a baby brother to me. I only have one person I have ever married.
[He's not gentle, but he's not rough about cleaning Klaus. Just hollow. Machine.]
You told me not to compare you to my ex. [My OTHER ex????] Kichou. [He's not sure if another name will upset Klaus, but it needs clarification.] I wrote the rule into my heart.
[They want to glance over their shoulder at him. Only one person he's ever married and there's a little fluttering of something in his stomach that makes him frown. He's supposed to be MAD stomach. GOSH!] If it's even legal. [They're not even sure why they said that except a petulant need to be rude.
They notice the different in how Nobunaga's washing them because it's happened before and he's usually very gentle about it. Not that it's hurting, but...it's not the same and that makes them sad...and then mad. So...you know...smad.]
Oh. [That makes sense. Why did he compare them? Wait? Does he have this memory? They squint. Nope. No.] That guy sucks. Do you think we're similar? Do I suck? Wait. Don't answer that last one. I don't want to know.
[Nobunaga pulls back, huddles up he knees and jobs sobs more... 100% silently, but REALLY FUCKING OBVIOUSLY.]
Because... [It's with torturous anguish (he's SORRY Yato, he's trying to FIX IT HE SWEARS!!!!) he gets the word out, focuses on breathing (steal my breath................)] You didn't... [Breathe. Sniffle. He's fine.] Tell me. Anything. [Okay. He can stop sobbing. Just silent tears. But it's a shower. Of course he's wet.] Not even what I did wrong.
[Oh. So. Gently. Just... not quite pokes, but touches Klaus with the soap. Like poking a moth away from a flame. So very hesitantly.]
[It's not. That hits him hard and he looks down. Not even Nobunaga counts their mid-sex wedding as legally binding. Maybe he should...never mention it again, then. Since it doesn't matter.
But the crying does become obvious and the pulling away. They turn around, frowning a little as they look at him, huddled down on the floor of the shower. They don't sit down with him because...there's not like so much space. So they're just...standing there awkwardly.]
You...you said you were going to cut Valdis out for being weak and not...standing up against the rules and I... [There is a little bit of shame as they say the next part.] I didn't...want you to leave me...so I left. [Now they're crying. Stupid crying!] I didn't want to be some weak, worthless person you were going to end up regretting and I couldn't watch it happen and I was...scared. I was scared you were going to realize I wasn't worth it. This. Us. Everything.
[There's really no point in wiping the tears away at this point.] And sometimes you get so stubborn and you don't listen. I told you both it was enough and...I know Yato has no reason to listen to me, but I thought...I thought you might actually consider that...I... [A soft sniffle] I thought you might listen. But you just called Valdis weak and then acted like everything was fine and I...it wasn't fine. That whole night wasn't fine, but you didn't make it better or easier. You just made yourself look like an asshole.
[He groans in frustration here.] And I know you care about people. You do, but sometimes...sometimes... [Will this vague gesturing help make their point? Probably not, but here it is.] I can't figure out if something's a good idea if I don't even know what the idea is.
[Nobunaga does consider it binding and that they are married! Hardcore. And is in his heart 100% and completely faithful!!]
[Nobunaga DESPERATELY wants to drag Klaus in for hard rough kisses, but just drags him, forehead to forehead.]
You. Stupid. You can't. Leave. We're married. You're my spouse-partner-in-crime. You're supposed to-- [Hiccup. CRYING INTENSIFIES.] Fight Crime with me. And injustices-- [Hiccup wants kisses, FEARS DESPERATELY THE REJECTION AGAIN. HE CANNOT!] Need. You. Trust. You. Spouse. Partner. Why? [Drags Klaus onto his lap and rests his chin over their shoulder.] You're. My... everything. My everything. I tried to even... tell you... when you walked away... I wasn't mad... needed you... but you -- [HICCUP!] Sided with rules?????? I don't understand.
I am an asshole, but have I ever hurt you like that? Have I ever abandoned you? You left me on the floor Klaus. [Oh. Maybe that's not a big deal to Klaus. alskdjal;dkjas;dlkjas;djk Stupid Klaus and floors.] I'm not like you... [Sniffle. Cry.] I don't... floor... if I don't... I can keep... [Sniffle. Sniffle.]
[WAHHHHHH.] You could have... asked. I've never lied to you. [Cry!] Told you I'd take care of it, stupid!!!! [Donks his head into Klaus' shoulder.] You sided with crowd over me. You said I deserve -- [WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH So much crying.] You. Best thing. Ever. But I'm -- [Sniffle cry.] Next. What happens when magic gunblade gets magic energy and attacks people and me and Yato didn't do anything??? [Cry. Cry. CRY.] Skuldug's wrong. It's not about him. [Attempts to gently set Klaus down on his back, face out of the water at least and lay on his chest, and fuck it, loses the shirt at least, feels stupid at this point.] It's about the people who loved those who died. Captain's more wrong. Sacrifice is never right. I don't care what magic demands. And neither should you. You hate death more than anyone else I know, so why were you against me? Why??? No one had to die my way.
I failed Yato... he says I didn't. I couldn't. But he -- [Hiccup.] I got scared! I was SO scared! [Sobs into Klaus' chest.] When Valdis went against us, I was scared. I thought "If I die, or get really injured from her, Klaus will cry." [Violently hiccups and gently headbutts his head to under Klaus' chin! DEEP BREATH. Okay. Better. The other thing is -- he has in his contract to protect Klaus, not to do anything he wouldn't let/order Teyrey to. He would not want her to fight Valdis. THEREFORE...] Yato wouldn't let me die. Or be scared. So then we couldn't cut the rules. He made me turn back. But we weren't going to hurt the Captain. I told you. And then he wouldn't call me or let me help when the Captain hurt him...
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timeasmymeasure
Re: Action
Date: 2023-01-02 11:43 pm (UTC)Drunk brain is not the best brain for this.]
Why do you...hate me? You said you would cut me out and then you act like I did something! I didn't! I'm not going to be some weak, worthless person you keep around because...because...I don't know...
1/2
Date: 2023-01-03 02:20 am (UTC)[There is a million kinds of things Nobunaga would have liked to say and do. He has never been to a desert, but the sight of Klaus made him instantly understand the idea of someplace suffering a drought, barren, hot, dusty, devoid of rain and life, and then at the tiniest shred, desperately soaking it in, even though it could destroy everything, it was too much, an assault on the senses!]
[He doesn't move. He CANNOT.]
[When did Nobunaga become this weak pathetic frail old man who was scared to death of hurting the ones he loved most? Always, but also when Klaus walked away.]
[He wants to choke Klaus. To shut up that lying voice!!! Klaus is better than he feared, by a long shot, and Nobunaga is weirdly proud of it. But still so much worse than he would have liked. That's Nobunaga's fault, isnt it? If he was stronger, he would have cut this off sooner. Prevented it entirely! Not dating Klaus, but rather letting Klaus run away. Maybe Nobunaga was using Klaus to punish himself for failure. Or maybe he was just truly too damn weak, because even now, he feels broken beyond repair. The kind of useless weapon that could only endanger, not save.]
I have told you, Lucky Number.
[Klaus can't stop him. Maybe he'll plays this off as hallucinations, just needing to give them both respite. Oda's sleeveless, and he hasn't done anything to change his 4 tattoo. It wasn't even faith he could fix this. Genuinely, just pure fucking stubbornness.]
Nothing anyone ever does can make me hate you, or anyone else. Not you, not Reginald Hargreaves. Not the Captain, not Skulduggery, not Yato, or anyone in my past or yours. The day I hate, is the day it's not me. Another possession. So rev up Bootylicious and strike me down.
[So much he wanted to do. Kiss Klaus, bite them, strangle them, tuck them into bed and sing a lullaby guarding their sleep. But he does nothing yet. Words not actions. That is what they said. And that is what he'll do.]
You are the strongest person I have met in any realm. [Right now he will say more than Maeve. Purely an ego thing!!! If Klaus isn't strong, then how can he bowl over people stronger? So obviously Klaus is the strongest! Of course!!!] Even now, you're standing in front of me. If our situations were reversed? I could not.
Stop listening to your lying voice. I told you, it is lies. Maybe I must crush this at its root.
First off Klaus, [He hates how icy his voice sounds. Not in the damnation way of hate, but detest. It can't be helped. Oda's broken. The only way he's standing is relying on freezing the shattered pieces so they don't all fall down. So he did it to himself, fine. But even Kennyo would have agreed, it was still coming from a place of love at the start.] There is no one too weak to join the Oda forces or family. I do not make everyone combatants. My goal has always been to move us past it.
[Peace. Peace and Prosperity. Nobunaga hadn't made it his goals here, hadn't thought it possible, worth it, or necessary. He knew better now. He had in Japan, that was the dream there, the impossible wish, he would absolutely do it here. He feels demonically inspired, ready to command Teyrey to draw up a new charter for them. And better still, demand Valdis help. Is this all that just SEEING KLAUS AGAIN HEALED?! It made him want to laugh hysterically-- and rage enough to tear about a mountain on his absolutely very own, with nearly bare hands!]
You did the same as Kichou. You doubted my ability to do the impossible, and you didn't even let me try. [He is angry. And so very excruciatingly hurt by that. But he keeps it together not to cry in the middle of the hallway.]
[We could have gone all the way to the great wall of China, if you only had a little more faith in me--]
[FUCK OFF BILLY JOEL!]
[No one has time for that shit!]
[It keeps playing in the background of his head enough he wonders if someone is playing it from their cabin even!]
No one is useless.
[It's so deathly quiet. And icy. Of everything else, Klaus could have missed that Nobunaga is paranoid, childish, prone to mercurial mood swings, un-fucking-caring about people's emotions because he prioritizes actions, and more keen: resuits, but he should never ever EVER miss that Nobunaga hated the castes and what that really meant or entailed.]
People aren't meant for suffering. They're meant to enjoy existence. Explore, create, produce. [The difference between Nobunaga and the Captain. Nobunaga was a human acting like a demon, the Captain was a demon acting like a human. Nobunaga understood ambition and apotheosis NOT just for himself. For everyone. You needed three things in life for prosperity. Basic needs met: from food, shelter, to even luxuries and entertainment. Two: relationships with each other of all kinds. From enemies to lovers to friends to families and everything in between. - though of course it was still the Captain's nature to use this against people, he could probably see now why it was best to just... NOT. But third: capacity to meet one's dreams and ambitions, especially the most extremely impossible radical ones.]
What do you think is the strongest power on this ship? Ava's? Skulduggery's? Dimitri's? Bash's? You're wrong. It's none of those. It's the musicians. [Valdis' had such a heavy cost, that its utility was great, but its economics were excruciating! And in the end, war is just economics, nothing more.] If we're powered by emotions, then musicians all about emotions have the strongest ability far outweighing anything the Captain can do.
Do you think that someone, such as I, who worked so tirelessly, whom you repeatedly told not to be so frighteningly intense about wanting to destroy the stupid caste rules and laws holding back everyone from every layer, [There's that intensity! It's not even a crack in the ice while you skate on it. It's an avalanche, threatening to sweep away everything and anything that couldn't correct course or go high enough above it!] Would then decide that discarding an entire person, without a single chance for redemption or course correction--
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Date: 2023-01-03 02:52 am (UTC)Is a reasonable choice to make, when there is even a sliver of a possibility to find a better way? [He can feel his fucking demon aura from hell behind him! All the weeks of pent up emotion, conviction, anger, hurt, but more importantly, he just can't hold it back. Like the avalanche is at his back but still, he will hold it back with his stupid brick wall he hand built layer by layer, because that's what does: the impossible!]
Or perhaps do you think, I expected someone who throws birthday cakes at parties and fire extinguishers at wormholes, whom I know to be the strongest I have ever met, who said they would be their own weapon, to pick up what I put down, and instead of embracing the inevitable end--
[Deep fucking breath. He's holding up under the strain, but barely! And not well.]
Would do the impossible with me? Defy the rules. Remember that I reject saving myself constantly, [SUCH a feral snarl!] And must be rescued not for my own sake-- [The wall breaks. Nobunaga's Bei did its best. It was meant for assassins and war, after all, not avalanches. But it did enough. It stopped the momentum all that's left now is force.] But For Those WHO GIVE A DAMN ABOUT Me.
[The avalanche has landed. There are rumblings in the distance, probably a joke to make about Fleetwood Mac's Landslide, but it won't be from Nobunaga. He's not calm, but he hasn't moved once. Unprecedented for the fidgety physically affectionate Demon King who preferred to let his hands do the talking.]
What does the cute cursed secret genius strongest of all time, but egregiously disappointed me ex have to say? [It's almost his usual playful tone. Except his eyes are ice, and his face is wrath and pain.] Do you think perhaps I meant someone who couldn't spare a thought to try something other than let the Captain and Skulduggery punish themselves, because magic, would be hurt so greatly being near me they should indeed run as you did, because they're much too weak to choose it for themselves -- or perhaps, you'd rather listen to your lying voice, because you've decided to choose it over your happiness and welfare.
[His voice slips into his demon king voice. All intense, low, raspy.] Choose carefully.
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Date: 2023-01-03 03:37 am (UTC)I am drunk. And you just said a lot of words.
[There's a moment of just trying to...figure out what he said again. What was the most important parts of the yelling and angry words at this point? Klaus gets that he's upset by what happened.] I tried...to tell you both it wasn't the time for...for whatever you were doing. Especially if Skulduggery asked for this specifically. There was...a reason. But you didn't listen to me. I was...I was just supposed to know you didn't mean you were going to cut me out of your life? Cause like...you seemed very serious about it. I know you said it to Valdis but...it felt...it felt like...you also said it to me.
[Most of these words are slurred because...drunk.] I do give a damn, but...you hurt me, too. You said things you know would hurt Valdis and...I think you knew I would also hear them...and then...you just...acted like everything was fine and normal like you hadn't said anything at all. You can't blame me for all your choices for all the things that happened. It's not me. I...I deserve not to have hurtful things said to me because something didn't go the way you wanted.
[There's a little sniffle here] And don't you ever compare me to him again. I'm nothing like him. You're just mad at me for not being able to know what you were doing and just going with it when you could have died...and you could have died for nothing. [God, they are so drunk right now. Just gonna...lie...on the floor. This is fine.] Please. If you're going to kill me for whatever betrayal you're feeling, can you just do it. I'm tired.
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Date: 2023-01-03 04:19 am (UTC)[Klaus is on the floor. And Yato needs Nobunaga to be his best, not his worst.]
[He sits down on the floor with Klaus.]
[And debates petting their hair, but it might hurt. Him? Klaus? One or both of them.]
[Never compare Klaus to Kichou? Don't fucking act like him then. But that's not fair, because he didn't know Kichou so he couldn't avoid it. Fine.]
You're right, good job, Klaus. You deserve not to have hurtful things said for any reason. That wasn't the reason, but it's not like I had the time to tell anyone other than Yato what I was thinking.
[What the actual fuck, Klaus?]
[Nobunaga doesn't know if he should be insulted, hurt, or even worried. He's too boggled. Oda just takes off his weapons belt and hands it to Klaus, gently placing his precious weapons in their hands, and then starts taking off various hidden knives and other weapons, even the whip, though that's far away from Klaus, behind Nobunaga. This is not playtime.]
Bold of you to think I'd let you off so easily. This is not a "death do us part" situation, love. You said it requires work. I'm putting in the effort and time.
I'm not going to die. I got scared of Valdis. I didn't want to make you cry. Fuckload of good that did. Yato said he'll never let any harm come to me, got it? I'm not protecting him, he's protecting me. And then we can protect everyone I love together.
Foolish immortal. What is the point of easing your torment so easily? Mwahahaha. [ :| yes. It's lacking his usual boyish impish playfulness. It's still icy. But it's there.]
Klaus, I told you from the start. Even if you broke up with me, I'd try everything all over again. I'm sorry it took so long, but I've been in agony. I couldn't say your name without wanting to cry.
You told me to communicate, but you didn't ask me what I was thinking either. You could have just... bent down and said "Nobunaga keep your hands to yourself, and focus only on me. You went too far with Valdis, and it hurt me. You don't want to hurt me like that, right?"
And I'd say "Noooo," so you could say, "Why did you do that? You promised to consider how you affect others."
And I'd say, "That's just it, I don't want anyone to die. We can circumvent people sacrifice. People should do what they actually want, even the Captain,"
And you'd be like, "Uggggggh you're so stupid! Why don't you understand anything?! It's how the magic works! Just shut up and stop literally picking a fight with the laws of the universe!"
And I'd say... "No, I will fight the laws of the universe, and you know why? Because who's going to enforce it? The rule police? At least then we can fight them and change the rules."
And--
[Should he stop playing out this dumbass scenario?]
[Too many words?]
Klaus. I told you. If it was me, try any last ditch efforts you've got. I'm sure Skulduggery didn't want more people hurt, and the Captain was honoring that.
But that just means don't honor my selfishness. Honor your own. I love you for how smart you are and come up with crazy solutions to take things into your own hands. I'm not blaming you for my choices. I'm still hurt you didn't try. Not to talk to me, not to change things. Maybe... you didn't think you had so much to lose back then. Because you figured your siblings will Survivor it the song with you. But that makes me feel like the only way for you to be happy is to be your sibling. And I can't. So what should I do?
I don't understand anything.
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Date: 2023-01-03 06:05 am (UTC)But then there's the weight of weapons in his hands and around him and he just looks over at Nobunaga in confusion. And then they're trying to keep up with all the dramatic reenactments of things that never happened.]
Still drunk.
[But there's a tired longing that's just existing there, something reaching out and they feel weak for it. Valdis said they were too good for Nobunaga. Ava said something similar, but Erin said they should talk. But he's far too drunk for reasonable conversation or reasonable thinking. Which is why they just drag themselves over all the weapons between them and put their head on his knee.] Mm too drunk for talking.
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Date: 2023-01-03 04:56 pm (UTC)[He'll even STAY like this. So much for lying about being a hallucination. He's just to weak to move.]
[It is a measure of how angry he is that he doesn't put Klaus to bed though. He often says Klaus doesn't deserve the floor, but today, he cannot.]
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Date: 2023-01-03 06:48 pm (UTC)But they wouldn't blame him if he did disappear in the night. For now, though, Klaus is just going to fall asleep, hugging Nobunaga's weapons to his chest, head on his knee. This is probably fine.]
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Date: 2023-01-03 07:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-01-03 09:07 pm (UTC)[That is not an invitation. It's a lamentation. They carefully move themselves because they realize they are about to be very sick. They'd apologize, but the time for action is now and there's two doors between him and the bathroom. So they are just getting up and rushing off to the bathroom, the door left open in their wake.
Once they get to the bathroom, there's an unfortunate amount of vomiting happening and they feel like death.] God, someone kill me.
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Date: 2023-01-03 10:11 pm (UTC)[Does he offer them a shower?]
[NO SEX.]
[Just --]
[Sigh.]
Sorry. I should have brought more green tea. You said no presents, but I didn't have to listen.
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Date: 2023-01-04 12:23 am (UTC)Part of him just wants to lay on the floor again and wait for death to take him because he feels like shit. And this is what he meant when he was talking to Valdis. This really had to stop. This wasn't helping. It was just fucking them up even worse.]
I didn't want presents. [They look up at him, eyes bleary. Whatever anger and yelling they had in them last night is gone now. It's just pure exhaustion.] I feel like shit.
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Date: 2023-01-04 12:31 am (UTC)[He meant both about -- all of it. Not wanting presents (feeling like he didn't deserve them.) And feeling like shit. But Nobunaga is still in the torture phase of this... whatever. Marriage. APPARENTLY?!]
Do you feel capable of taking a shower without help? I will still wear... something. Under my armor. But I'll have to get the other weapons from the hall.
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Date: 2023-01-04 01:51 am (UTC)It's kind of weird to think about the fact that they'd married each other over two weeks ago and now here they are and everything feels so terrible.]
Yeah. Probably. Maybe. [But the desire to move is where the problem is. But...yeah. That's fair. Can't leave his weapons in the hallway. Even if part of them feels like it would serve him right.] Just let me...sit here for...like a minute.
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Date: 2023-01-04 01:58 am (UTC)I'll be right back.
[It's not for Nobunaga's sake he's getting the weapons, it's for literally everyone else so they don't step on them, Klaus!]
[He returns, dumping the weapons in a safe-ish corner, and starts removing the armor.]
[He is literally not looking at Klaus. Performing on muscle memory, and autopilot.]
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Date: 2023-01-04 02:19 am (UTC)After a moment, they just pull themselves up off the floor, starting to undress because this is a shower and it's probably fair because they haven't really showered a lot recently. It's just been a sort of self care downgrade.]
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Date: 2023-01-04 02:53 am (UTC)Do I need to get soaps? [He got so much at the resort, but it's all in his room which he hasn't been to except for clothes, and even then because it beat Tommy Bahamas where they somehow(?!) spent more time together.] I guess if you don't have enough here, this is just a rinse, but you should try again without me.
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Date: 2023-01-04 03:46 am (UTC)Ugh, but Erin said they needed to talk.] I...don't remember everything that happened...exactly. Last night.
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Date: 2023-01-04 04:07 am (UTC)[HOW IS KLAUS SEXY EVEN IN GRAYSCALE?!?!?! IS THERE LITERALLY ANYTHING THIS IS GOOD FOR?!?!?]
[He wants pictures. Oh. He has some... Somewhere.]
[At least he's still too fucked up to get turned on.]
[Down to the bare minimum but still covered head to toe in clothes, he'll just... burn the pants later maybe. Or launder them, what the fuck ever.]
[And climbs in, to help Klaus shower. Just bros being bros. No homo. Even though they're married. Yes. And have done this before much sexier. Whatever. It's fine.]
I sent you a song. Perhaps that was cruel. [Well, no. It was cruel, but he's a sadist, so.] It seemed more important at the time. And less like I was trying to romance you than if I sent you an emoji haiku.
I did offer to bring presents, but that wasn't to romance you either, just a shameless bribe to make sure you weren't dying.
[Scrubs Klaus hair! SO PRETTY! Highly neglected!] You should ask Jeff what he uses for his hair. It might not work the same, but I think he could help.
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Date: 2023-01-04 05:16 am (UTC)[Klaus puts his left hand up to help him balance. If Nobunaga’s paying attention, the very obvious umbrella tattoo on his forearm was not there the last time they spoke. Stupid Umbrella Academy.
It actually feels nice to be in the shower and nicer still to have someone washing his hair. It’s just also mildly annoying that it’s Nobunaga right now.]
I remember…something? Not really the words. [But it’ll be there on the phone.] I don’t feel incredibly romanced, so…I guess you managed not to romance me since you didn’t want to. [And they’re not really sure why they feel mad about that.]
Why do I care what Jeff uses? [It takes all his power not to tell Nobunaga to maybe marry Jeff’s shampoo out of petulance. Jeff’s not bad people and Klaus doesn’t want to say mean things about him. There’s a sigh and they close their eyes, head tilting slightly into the fingers scrubbing it.] Sorry.
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Date: 2023-01-04 05:55 am (UTC)[Nobunaga hasn't taken off the 4 tattoo, and never will, but it's covered up right now.]
[................ Jealous Klaus is so cute and Nobunaga starts to smile, bend over to kiss Klaus' shoulders -- and jerks himself back hard well before he gets anywhere Klaus could have easily sensed it. Nobunaga's crying, but hopes it can't be seen in the shower. Luckily his eyes are colored red normally.]
He's like a baby brother to me. I only have one person I have ever married.
[He's not gentle, but he's not rough about cleaning Klaus. Just hollow. Machine.]
You told me not to compare you to my ex. [My OTHER ex????] Kichou. [He's not sure if another name will upset Klaus, but it needs clarification.] I wrote the rule into my heart.
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Date: 2023-01-04 06:33 am (UTC)They notice the different in how Nobunaga's washing them because it's happened before and he's usually very gentle about it. Not that it's hurting, but...it's not the same and that makes them sad...and then mad. So...you know...smad.]
Oh. [That makes sense. Why did he compare them? Wait? Does he have this memory? They squint. Nope. No.] That guy sucks. Do you think we're similar? Do I suck? Wait. Don't answer that last one. I don't want to know.
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Date: 2023-01-04 06:44 am (UTC)[UGH At the questions...]
[Nobunaga pulls back, huddles up he knees and jobs sobs more... 100% silently, but REALLY FUCKING OBVIOUSLY.]
Because... [It's with torturous anguish (he's SORRY Yato, he's trying to FIX IT HE SWEARS!!!!) he gets the word out, focuses on breathing (steal my breath................)] You didn't... [Breathe. Sniffle. He's fine.] Tell me. Anything. [Okay. He can stop sobbing. Just silent tears. But it's a shower. Of course he's wet.] Not even what I did wrong.
[Oh. So. Gently. Just... not quite pokes, but touches Klaus with the soap. Like poking a moth away from a flame. So very hesitantly.]
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Date: 2023-01-04 07:19 am (UTC)But the crying does become obvious and the pulling away. They turn around, frowning a little as they look at him, huddled down on the floor of the shower. They don't sit down with him because...there's not like so much space. So they're just...standing there awkwardly.]
You...you said you were going to cut Valdis out for being weak and not...standing up against the rules and I... [There is a little bit of shame as they say the next part.] I didn't...want you to leave me...so I left. [Now they're crying. Stupid crying!] I didn't want to be some weak, worthless person you were going to end up regretting and I couldn't watch it happen and I was...scared. I was scared you were going to realize I wasn't worth it. This. Us. Everything.
[There's really no point in wiping the tears away at this point.] And sometimes you get so stubborn and you don't listen. I told you both it was enough and...I know Yato has no reason to listen to me, but I thought...I thought you might actually consider that...I... [A soft sniffle] I thought you might listen. But you just called Valdis weak and then acted like everything was fine and I...it wasn't fine. That whole night wasn't fine, but you didn't make it better or easier. You just made yourself look like an asshole.
[He groans in frustration here.] And I know you care about people. You do, but sometimes...sometimes... [Will this vague gesturing help make their point? Probably not, but here it is.] I can't figure out if something's a good idea if I don't even know what the idea is.
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Date: 2023-01-04 08:37 am (UTC)[Nobunaga DESPERATELY wants to drag Klaus in for hard rough kisses, but just drags him, forehead to forehead.]
You. Stupid. You can't. Leave. We're married. You're my spouse-partner-in-crime. You're supposed to-- [Hiccup. CRYING INTENSIFIES.] Fight Crime with me. And injustices-- [Hiccup wants kisses, FEARS DESPERATELY THE REJECTION AGAIN. HE CANNOT!] Need. You. Trust. You. Spouse. Partner. Why? [Drags Klaus onto his lap and rests his chin over their shoulder.] You're. My... everything. My everything. I tried to even... tell you... when you walked away... I wasn't mad... needed you... but you -- [HICCUP!] Sided with rules?????? I don't understand.
I am an asshole, but have I ever hurt you like that? Have I ever abandoned you? You left me on the floor Klaus. [Oh. Maybe that's not a big deal to Klaus. alskdjal;dkjas;dlkjas;djk Stupid Klaus and floors.] I'm not like you... [Sniffle. Cry.] I don't... floor... if I don't... I can keep... [Sniffle. Sniffle.]
[WAHHHHHH.] You could have... asked. I've never lied to you. [Cry!] Told you I'd take care of it, stupid!!!! [Donks his head into Klaus' shoulder.] You sided with crowd over me. You said I deserve -- [WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH So much crying.] You. Best thing. Ever. But I'm -- [Sniffle cry.] Next. What happens when magic gunblade gets magic energy and attacks people and me and Yato didn't do anything??? [Cry. Cry. CRY.] Skuldug's wrong. It's not about him. [Attempts to gently set Klaus down on his back, face out of the water at least and lay on his chest, and fuck it, loses the shirt at least, feels stupid at this point.] It's about the people who loved those who died. Captain's more wrong. Sacrifice is never right. I don't care what magic demands. And neither should you. You hate death more than anyone else I know, so why were you against me? Why??? No one had to die my way.
I failed Yato... he says I didn't. I couldn't. But he -- [Hiccup.] I got scared! I was SO scared! [Sobs into Klaus' chest.] When Valdis went against us, I was scared. I thought "If I die, or get really injured from her, Klaus will cry." [Violently hiccups and gently headbutts his head to under Klaus' chin! DEEP BREATH. Okay. Better. The other thing is -- he has in his contract to protect Klaus, not to do anything he wouldn't let/order Teyrey to. He would not want her to fight Valdis. THEREFORE...] Yato wouldn't let me die. Or be scared. So then we couldn't cut the rules. He made me turn back. But we weren't going to hurt the Captain. I told you. And then he wouldn't call me or let me help when the Captain hurt him...
Do you hate me? [Crying!]
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