[Once Nobunaga starts, there’s something tight inside him that snaps. They’ve been feeling like they’re holding everything together in a whole mess of a storm and it’s like Nobunaga has finally heard him. And he knows there’s things he needs to work through, too. Things he has to do better with. But it feels better. And this is what he’s been trying to tell people.
This is the Nobunaga he’s been trying to get everyone to see and he’s happy to see it now.
The not being sexual together until things are resolved makes sense, but definitely a shift. One Klaus will honor because it’s what’s been asked of them.]
You two and the fair contracts. I love you so much. More than everything. So I’m with you. I’ll be with you.
[And here’s a big, terrifying thing to add to it all] I’ll talk about Dave. I will. I didn’t mean to make him Umbrella forever. But…I have to add something else. I’m…[There’s a slight pause.] I told Valdis earlier that I need to stop drinking. I’m leaning on it too heavily. I’ve been sleeping everywhere and feeling like shit since this whole thing and it’s…it’s not working anymore. All of it. It’s hurting me worse than it’s helping me. I’m going to reach out to Dr. Watson. So he can keep an eye on things.
[They reach out for him, fingers twining together.] I’ve done it before and never really meant it. But I want to mean it. So if I lean on you a little soon, that’s why. I’m…scared. Of that. But if we’re a team, then it will be easier because I can lean on you when I feel like shit and you can lean on me.
[They look at him for a moment.] I agree to all your terms and I feel more seen and heard. Thank you. I want to make sure you feel the same for the rest of my life. We’ll start planning our Konpeito wedding once we work through everything else, okay? I want that. I want us. [There’s a slight sag of relief at those words and Klaus nuzzles up against Nobunaga.] But probably we should actually shower and sleep first. I love you.
I love you too, my Lucky Number. [Squeezes the hand very gently and works off the rest of the clothes.] I told you before, I will help you go dry whenever should you wish. Are there future medical developments to help with the withdrawal, or do I get to painfully sex free live out my bondage fantasies first? [It's half a joke, because it's true too, but Nobunaga is still on the stern side.]
[Even so, back to shower. Cleaning Klaus is one of his greatest jobs in life. Like tending weapons.] I feel like I'm forgetting something important. Not Teyrey, I will text her when we are in bed. Not Eddie, though I will ask his forgiveness for the state of us before. Yato will also do better with some sleep, I'm afraid I've been hurting him. Hmmmm...
It will come back to me. I will stay dry with you now. So as not to tempt you. Set a good example, as Teyrey wrote in our contract. I do not think my withdrawal will be so bad, but you should know, we're in it together yes? That is the other reason you must not fail. You said before, rehab told you to do it for yourself or it won't stick. I think that's only partially true. You must also do it for people you care about, or they cannot be your motivation either. When I said my final piece, forced Teyrey to defend an untenable position, I think, I hope everyone did choose what they thought they wanted. It's okay to disagree or fight me. Most of my soldiers did oppose me in the past, so long as you have no regrets, and have strong convictions behind your stance.
Klaus... I don't want to hide this from you, so I won't. [Kisses their knuckles, and lathers shampoo carefully with his free hand into Klaus' hair.] I cannot see colors yet. I didn't die, I don't think it was the Captain. It happened before. When I thought I was possessed and turned into the Demon King of 6th Heaven officially. Back then, I thought, it resolved because I pulled Japan out of hell. Yuuki thinks it's psychological. An effect of trauma. [Scrubby scrubby! Love the Klaus!!! Love love love love.] I am not worried, and I do not wish to worry Teyrey, I did tell Valdis and Yato though. It will resolve, but... don't ever doubt the effect you have on me.
[Kisses their cheek!] Oh and I absolutely have not had sex this whole time. My desire to wait with you is for safety, nothing more. [Finger over Klaus' lips again momentarily! And shakes his head under the water stream quickly!] It is okay if you have. That was then, this is now, but I'd prefer to know. [Drops the finger, mentally trying to brace himself!] Though I guess if you told SecUnit we're married?? [Ugh the hope, he can hear it in his own voice bluuuh. It'll be okay no matter what. Mostly no matter what. Need to lay out his battle plans lists and have his banner back so he knows where he is. That all behind him... are his. So his back is safe, enemy forward. Thats how he needs it.]
[Klaus smiles a little here] I know. I didn’t want it then. I do now. I hate it, though. It’s always terrible. And it’s more…knowing what to look for, I guess with the side effects of not drinking. And not doing drugs. Well…maybe pot, but that’s all. [But he might have to say no to everything. It depends.] I was gonna get Diego to tie me to a chair once, but Luther needed me, so I had to look for him. He decided the right choice was to get high and go clubbing. He wanted to be like me and not care about things. [Which was obviously the wrong impression]
I’m sorry about Yato. He came to bring me food one day and I was probably weird about it.
[And another of the five million reasons to love Nobunaga] I hope it’s not actually a problem for you, but I’ll be here if it is. It’s virtually impossible to avoid the alcohol on this boat, but I’ll do my best. Because I have to. For me. [A beat.] For me to get better, it’s necessary. [As for the other part…] I don’t regret my choice for what it was. I feel bad that it had to happen like that, but if it worked and did what it was supposed to, I don’t. My only regret was hurting you. [He looks down.] But even that has maybe helped us a little. To get here. Even if it sucked so bad.
[The mention about color has them concerned, though. That happened?] Are you… [They give him an apologetic look.] I’ll help you get your colors back if it’s the last thing I do. [Maybe a little overdramatic, but that’s what they do.]
[There’s a little shake of their head.] Bash kissed my neck, but he was drunk and he never drinks ever! I told him he couldn’t consent, so…I just let him sleep it off in the room. I mean, he passed out on the way to sleeping it off anyway. But nothing happened with anyone else. I couldn’t have consented really either. [They’re a little tense about the Bash stuff because they know how Nobunaga feels about him, but…it’s fine. Probably. But there’s something else to ask.] You’re concerned about safety? Like because I’m sick or is there something else?
"Knowing what to look out for." Expand on this. [It is really hard not to cover Klaus in kisses, but Nobunaga is still hesitant. He just uses his fingers to convey everything!!] I know what can happen in withdrawal. That's why I had the flask, but... [He gets an inkling between the two things, that it is why Klaus commiserated on a special level with Valdis.] Did I take advantage of Valdis' vulnerability in inviting her to bed with us?
[Valdis. Vulnerable. It's a hard slap to his system. He knew she hadn't been all there, but he hadn't thought too deeply on it. He knew his own desire to deal death, the power rush from killing, that sometimes the only thing he transitioned into was sex. Nobunaga shakes out his own hair, apologetically kisses between Klaus' shoulder blades so he can take his hand back, but puts one of Klaus' hands on him, constant contact, so neither of them felt lost! And scrubs out his hair with both hands. He needs to think!]
Safety because... it isn't good to use each other like addictions. I may have messed up my relationship with Valdis further back than I thought before, but this is good to know.
... Luther thinks you don't care about things? It is the exact opposite. You care the deepest, even when it's not about you, you feel the pain anyway. That is why I say you are so strong. Luther's not very... bright, is he? [Tentative placating kiss, and cleans Klaus with both hands now, and starts massaging Klaus!] I ask with love!
[As for Yato, yes! What a great God, Klaus doesn't suspect a thing!! Or is playing along. Nah, probably not.] Yato cares more about you than you realize. Not just because of me, but on your own merits. If any good came of the last two weeks, I hope you realize how many people would defend you, no matter what. And what the Captain did to him was... painful. He was nearly paralyzed, but still, you helped him. Don't underestimate that. [Kisses the shoulders, still massaging them happily! Chu!]
Just don't leave me again, I'm not strong enough a second time. That's not an ultimatum, it's a boundary. I'll try not to make it like it is only you doing something, but know, even in the heat of battle, sit on me and talk to me. Tell me everything, anything, your fears, and i will fix them. Just don't stop talking until I get it.
[There's a hard pinch of Klaus' spine at the base of the neck he's massaging at Bash's name, before he relaxes instantly. Oh wow, that's all? That's just how Klaus normally is with his friends. Okay. He kisses it apologetically, but gives a large rough bite to Klaus' shoulder purely to reassure himself that this was his husband. No letting go.]
Consent, is it?
[He addressed the safety thing, but--] I have not wanted anyone but you since we began. Or at least since Sharky's birthday. [There was only a week between, after all!] But more than that... [Both hands envelope one of Klaus' hands and hold it to his heart.] If I am sad, I cannot have sex. I must not let myself, or you, stop me from this mission until it is through. Then I will know the battle is over, the enemy spies, and their poison are routed. When I am physically one, and joined with you, I let myself feel safe. I must not until that is truly the case, or my senses will dull, and the very act itself would feel lesser. I will only accept the best, Lucky 4. From myself, and from you. No one else is the best, only you.
[Still holding both hands to his chest, he leans their foreheads together.] Valdis thought my calling her Gorgeous was for sex, it isn't. I was trying to say she had the power over me, but she probably felt it wasn't true, because I'm not able to--
Max Imum was in a bad way. High from cooking for people, feeling fulfilled so when he ran out? Useless, lost, needing someone to take control over him. I called Pratt, and Teyrey, and sent the two men mapping corners, and jogging flights of stairs. Though, I was a bit drunk, and pulled him by the tie. I couldn't help it. I can't imagine how hard it is in the future not to constantly choke anyone irksome. [Nobunaga...] This is what I mean as well, my spouse-in-crime, love of my life, soulmate by red threads of fate. It is very dangerous to mask the problem with decoration. It needs iron and rock. I will resolve every last fracture between us. And only then will I be sure that we are safe, nothing is hurting us inside out.
Did I ever tell you about Kitsuno? She died of plague. I wanted more medicine. More prosperity. [Tentatively checks on Klaus so he understands how much that does mean to him. Though Klaus once suggested it was unattainable.] And instead, the monks would tell me, it was just fate, the way of the gods. She was tortured by unseen forces, for no reason. [Turns Klaus around to kiss his forehead, rest their chests together, one hand laced again, the other cleeeeeaning!]
I still cannot abide playing by the rules of fate. You don't have to join me to still be on my side, or even protect me, but know that is where I'll be. A world that has such rules, is not a world worth respecting enough not to at least try. I am stubborn, the stubbornest of all time, perhaps. But--
[Yes. He's going to do it. Are you ready? Sing Mariah Carey!]
[Klaus looks down] Well, I know I'm going to be in a terrible mood by the end of...I guess today. I just have to be careful. There's very serious symptoms that could happen and...that's why reaching out to Watson is so important. [And it's anxiety inducing.] I've never had the seizures or DTs but that doesn't mean I might not somehow. If the hallucinations get really bad and I can't distinguish what's real and not real, just...make sure I'm safe. Please.
[He looks over for a moment.] I think we both did...but I don't think that we knew that at the time. But now that we do, I think...we have to be mindful of it. When there's a change that drastic, we have to be mindful that there's something else going on and figure out something else.
[They let out a slow breath, just kind of enjoying all the bathing stuff for a moment.] I think he just...sees me as not having problems or not getting caught up in them, really. I think when you're so...stuck up Dad's ass for your life and you see someone like me just being a person. Probably misread my life. Thought the drugs and the lack of giving a shit was a positive thing. Except I'm fucked up as shit.
Um...what merits? [Klaus didn't even know that Yato cared that much about him. He could be wrong, of course. They lean into the massaging anyway.] I didn't want him to die. And Ari has only so many arms. [He looks over at him for a moment.] I'll do my best, okay? To get my point across when I have to.
[There's a small noise of discomfort when he's pinched.] Owwww. [But the kiss makes up for it. And the bite is definitely not helping his resolve to not let himself get carried away. They really want to stop being really, really into being bitten sometimes.] Consent. Yes. [Klaus listens] Okay. That's fair. But...in that line of everything...probably keep the biting to a minimum because I can control myself, but it's like...I'm really into it. Especially when it's you. I want to make sure we're not making a mess for ourselves to clean up.
[Klaus closes his eyes.] Well, it's probably how it felt to her at the time. Maybe you could just...tell her that?
[The Max Imum nearly has them rolling, though, and they shove down the instinct to laugh, which is a lot easier when he keeps going. He's not supposed to pull other people by the tie unless they're together! Oh wait.] Max isn't irksome. Also you know his name isn't Max Imum, right? It's Max Maximum. There's two Maxes...Please tell me you know this and you haven't been calling him Max Imum this whole time. Unless he's like...in on the joke, I guess.
[They listen as Nobunaga speaks about Kitsuno. They're sure they know about her, but...that is still no less sad.] I'm sorry they couldn't have gotten her medicine and made her better. That's hard.
[Klaus presses a quick kiss to Nobuaga's lips. Chaste and simple. He doesn't want to push things somewhere they can't pull back from.] You're still so cute. I love you, too. Can I...ask for something else? If one of us dies...no matter why, I want us to always find each other when we wake up. No matter the hour. Even if we just go back to sleep together, that's all I want. And... [He looks down] I think we need to wait till we get ourselves together to ask Friday about rooming together. So we can make sure that it's the best thing for us. Okay?
[They lean against Nobunaga for a moment] Dave was the first person I ever really loved. The first person that made me feel like I was worth something and I wanted to be so much better than I was because he deserved it. And we deserved to be happy. I had no control in...anything that happened. But I would have given up my entire life to stay with him if I could have, but...there was nothing I could do. He got shot and I...I just had to press my hands on his chest and scream for the medics and no one came and he just...died. He died there with me and I went back with his blood still all over me. He deserved so much better and I wish I'd known that I would come back because I would have found a way to die to keep him safe if I could even if it meant he was so freaked out that he never wanted to be with me again. He'd be safe and alive. That's all that would have mattered to me.
Of course I will. Even if I have to tie you down and torture myself along with it.
Ugh... Magic is so annoying!
You're kind, you're brave, you're usually loyal, [SORRY KLAUS, he's working on it jeez!!!], you're smart, you're strong, you care so much about every damn person around you, even strangers, that's the only reason you ever seem like your loyalty is tested, because you're trying to protect everyone at all damn once, and you're reliable, and sweet like candy.
[He wants to bite him again, but stays good for now.] I did tell her that. But I realized I need to talk to you, work this out a lot, because I'm not going to be able to get a hold of myself until I do. I've given you a lot more of myself than I realized, and to separate it, we'd have to move on, and since neither of us want to, we won't. So I won't separate it, but I will cut out the poison, and cauterize these wounds, and then we will face the others together.
I have definitely been calling him Max Imum the whole time. And I think I will start calling him just Imum. Unless that is crossing a line with you?
[Ugh. Nobunaga's devastated that they can't just share a room yet. Klaus is right, but it doesn't stop the sorrow and pain, and Nobunaga has to wash his face off in the shower, because tears.] Hai... Yes.
[He's able to handle his emotions so much better when Klaus leans against him for support and talks about Dave. He just wraps both arms around Klaus, gently cleaning the very last of their fronts and listening.]
You are worth it. You're worth... everything. I don't care how much I have to deal with. The world can be destroyed infinitely. I'll keep fighting so long as I have breath to see you again. No matter what. You'll always wake up to my face and vice versa.
Understand, when I don't agree with you, I'm not always failing to take you into consideration. Sometimes I fuck up, sometimes what I think I need is wrong, and I'm just used to my army, my rules, but you are not in my army. You are my spouse-in-crime. So I will always remember this, but I might need reminders.
However, I am not Reginald Hargreaves. You will never reach a point that you stop being useful to me, or too much effort. I like the effort. It lets me prove my strength, understand? [Kisses Klaus' shoulders! Biting is out but kisses??? So long as it's not the front, Nobunaga will lose his own damn mind then!] Sometimes you will have to grab my face to make sure I cannot be distracted. You will have to say, "I am most important, so you will listen to me, and I don't care that there is murder going on behind us." That is the difference between you and my army, got it? You are the only one who can, so you must. Even Yato said, he won't ever make me choose my loyalty to him or you. He's a god, he knows patience sucks, but he's lived a long damn time, he is better at waiting. That's your privilege as spouse-in-crime so you may abuse it freely, okay?
[He feels healed. A lot. Super duper healed. Maybe not 100%, but definitely even more than before the trial.]
I can't refrain from things just because it might make you cry. That WILL get us killed. I've never had that before, so I'm not mad at myself, and certainly never you. But from now on, I have to trust you to be strong enough, understand? So that gives you liberties too. Use them as you will. But know, even if you cry and I still do something, it's not because it doesn't hurt me. [Leans against the shower wall, and turns Klaus around, holding their hand to his heart.] Like a thousand knives directly to my heart and soul. It hurts. But it means that whatever I'm doing that's how strong my belief, my conviction is. So you must take your own control of it, understand? [Kisses Klaus' forehead!] Act to do what makes you happiest. Whether that is sitting on me to yell at me, throwing a pie at someone, or something brilliant we can't think of until the moment. I will empower your freedom, but I never want you to feel helpless and do nothing ever again. Do anything. And believe in me to help you see through what you really want. Agreed? Fair contract? [Just leans into him, breathing in their scent!!! His Klaus!]
Thanks. And if things get out of hand, get Watson. He's got medical training.
[This is just getting a lot of blushing because they're still in a weird place about compliments, but they appreciate them all the same.] I love you. I love the way you see me.
[There's a small nod at that.] I don't want to separate. I want us to be stronger and if there's anything to help you, then I want to do it, too.
Hm? Is calling him Imum like...because you want to date him or just being playful?
[Klaus is very sorry, but if their problems aren't fixed before they move in together, that's not going to help either of them. And that's assuming they can move in together.] I'm sorry, babe.
[They listen to the words and they're feeling so much more relaxed now.] Good. I feel that way about you, too.
[He lets out a breath and nods at the words] I think I'm starting to understand that. I have to rethink how I look at things sometimes. That's...I keep telling you to do that and you told me to with Ari and I was being a brat about it and...I'm sorry. Sometimes I need to listen to you more, too. [A beat.] And you were right about me. Hanging my worth too much on what I can do for others. I was talking to Erin and it came up and I was annoyed that you were right...but you were.
[There's a soft sniffle. Being worthless is a thing that kills him, but...it's good to know that there's someone that will never see them as worthless. And the kisses make him happy.] I will do my best to be strong enough to insert myself as much as I need to but not get too bad about it.
[There's a little nod.] We're both probably going to cry at some point, but as long as we make it better after and as long as we're always willing to walk it out and work together, I can deal with it. [They snort] Can I just say I agree and have it not be about fair contracts?
[There's a small breath] Also I need you to know that I appreciate you. I appreciate how kind you are even when you claim that you're evil and terrible. It's very wrong. You're not. You're sweet and good and you care about the people that are close to you. You love being called cute even when you say you hate it. You just bite because you don't know how to deal with the fact that you like being cute. At least when it's me. And I know you're dramatic and over the top but I like that about you. Except when you make me want to shake you. And you're always willing to listen to me even when I'm not listening all the time, too. You see me pretty clearly.
[They reach for his hand.] I can't wait to be married to you in front of everyone and not just us. And I'm glad we're married in our hearts. I want to be with you forever or until we're old and sad and we probably die...but hopefully next to each other in our sleep.
I have sat through samurai having to stop drinking before Klaus, before we even had your medicines, I know how to handle it, but I will call him too, you are more important than suffering needlessly, obviously.
Love you too. [Kisses Klaus' nose tip!]
[And chokes about Max!] No! He would let me kill him over and over. [Eyeroll.] Do you think that's something I want? I don't want to be like Reginald. [Snort.] You're so much stronger than him. The whole time he was begging me for attention, all I could think was how boring it all is and I need you, someone who says clearly what you don't want, so I don't have to do things I don't like. This is problem I have with Pratt. I could break him repeatedly and I'd be very bored. I don't want to be. I know, you don't think you're in danger with Blackbeard, because you can take care of yourself better than those two, but it's like choking Max. There's no quota threshold where I say, "I'm satisfied," except with you. Valdis thinks my sex-drive is always at max, but that's not the case, you're the exception, not the rule. [Blush! Glances away.] I'd call him Imum so that he can either decide he's okay with it, or decide he doesn't like it and learn to be strong enough to say so himself. And because everyone calls him Max-Max. It's like how I'd get Yes and No on my hands instead of your cult's Hello Goodbye.
[Nobunaga listens to the rest stoically... but LAUGHS hard when Klaus asks to agree and not say fair contract.] Yes. [Nips his nose, fuck it!]
[And leads them out of the shower to towel off!] But you should make up with her when you can. She might not forgive you for some extra time. I can do my best, but she has been invaluable as my second for this whole time. She is my family here, and even if my generals from home arrived, I'd make them obey her orders.
[Gaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh noooooooo what?! Of course Nobunaga can compliment the fuck out of Klaus' merits, but get started on his own and he's a blushing flustered mess who can't handle any of it!] Not kind... [SULK.]
[He does like being called cute. SECRETLY. That's why he likes calling others cute!]
[So he doesn't even deny it.]
[AND BLUSHES MORE. Of course he bites Klaus for that reason. But the smile is there because he's really REALLY grateful that Klaus SEES that.]
You can shake me as often as you like.
Maybe we'll never die. Your god in the void doesn't like you, and my soul would go to Yato anyway. Let's outlive Skulduggery and the Captain and show them not too bad for two half-human pains in the ass, yeah? [Where can he safely bite or kiss?]
[Nowhere. Hug? Ehhhhh.]
[He just throws Klaus over onto his shoulder to oni!kidnap and carry him to the closet. Hopefully Eddie isn't there.] I'll need to borrow some clothes. I'll let you pick. [Goes searching for the usual places to get the hairbrush!]
[There's a slight wrinkle in their nose the kiss] Good.
[There's a very unusual distinction. Klaus will make a note to tell Max to stand up for himself with Nobunaga. For Max's sake.] I can take care of myself. But sometimes I like you taking care of me. And I like your sex drive with me. Even if I know we're like...on a sex break. [Which is actually somewhat painful.
It's always the NOSE!]
I'll...do my best. [They sigh] I'm glad you had someone in your corner. [Even if it is also frustrating in a way]
And I will. I'm sure.
[They laugh at that.] I don't know if we can never die, but I'll do my best. I don't want to compete with anyone for longevity of life. I think we might lose and I don't want you to be sad if we do.
[There's a soft noise of surprise as he's picked up and carried to the closet. Once he's set down, he looks for something to wear. His eyes settle on things that he knows Nobunaga would try to immediately take off him, which means...he cannot wear them. He sighs, sifting through his clothes before settling on this t-shirt with these sleep shorts. Then they consider Nobunaga for a moment before choosing this shirt and this pair of lounge pants.
Once he's dressed, he sets the clothes out for Nobunaga and waits for his reaction for the outfit.] Let me know if you want to swap shirts.
Okay. We won't compete. We have to try to stay together, even against death though.
[He pokes the aliens before putting it on!] They're not all green. [No colors remember?] What are these other shades? And the rest of it? [The purple!]
[He already put it on, but he looks at it, and smiles.] Yeah I want the other one. I'm the Fool of Owari, not you.
I love you. [He has two weeks+ of not saying it to make up for!]
[Worst sex break, but they will weather this and be stronger for it or something.]
We will. I’ll stay with you until we can go together.
[Klaus is carefully pointing out each color on the shirt and making sure to tell them every color.
There’s a slight eyeroll.] We’re both fools in love. [Still, he’s carefully taking the shirt off and handing it over, holding his hand out for the alien shirt.]
I love you forever and ever. Come on. It’s proper nap time.I need to get enough sleep now before I can’t sleep well for a while. [They are going over towards the bed once they have the shirt and pull it on.] Big spoon or little spoon?
I don't care. So long as I'm with you. I guess little. [So he can text lmao.] I missed you so much. I didn't sleep much at all. I want you to sheathe me again.
Okay. [Klaus pulls the sheets down, climbing into the bed and patting the spot next to him. They will be the strongest and best version of themselves and make sure that Nobunaga feels safe and secure.]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2023-01-05 12:35 pm (UTC)This is the Nobunaga he’s been trying to get everyone to see and he’s happy to see it now.
The not being sexual together until things are resolved makes sense, but definitely a shift. One Klaus will honor because it’s what’s been asked of them.]
You two and the fair contracts. I love you so much. More than everything. So I’m with you. I’ll be with you.
[And here’s a big, terrifying thing to add to it all] I’ll talk about Dave. I will. I didn’t mean to make him Umbrella forever. But…I have to add something else. I’m…[There’s a slight pause.] I told Valdis earlier that I need to stop drinking. I’m leaning on it too heavily. I’ve been sleeping everywhere and feeling like shit since this whole thing and it’s…it’s not working anymore. All of it. It’s hurting me worse than it’s helping me. I’m going to reach out to Dr. Watson. So he can keep an eye on things.
[They reach out for him, fingers twining together.] I’ve done it before and never really meant it. But I want to mean it. So if I lean on you a little soon, that’s why. I’m…scared. Of that. But if we’re a team, then it will be easier because I can lean on you when I feel like shit and you can lean on me.
[They look at him for a moment.] I agree to all your terms and I feel more seen and heard. Thank you. I want to make sure you feel the same for the rest of my life. We’ll start planning our Konpeito wedding once we work through everything else, okay? I want that. I want us. [There’s a slight sag of relief at those words and Klaus nuzzles up against Nobunaga.] But probably we should actually shower and sleep first. I love you.
no subject
Date: 2023-01-05 01:21 pm (UTC)[Even so, back to shower. Cleaning Klaus is one of his greatest jobs in life. Like tending weapons.] I feel like I'm forgetting something important. Not Teyrey, I will text her when we are in bed. Not Eddie, though I will ask his forgiveness for the state of us before. Yato will also do better with some sleep, I'm afraid I've been hurting him. Hmmmm...
It will come back to me. I will stay dry with you now. So as not to tempt you. Set a good example, as Teyrey wrote in our contract. I do not think my withdrawal will be so bad, but you should know, we're in it together yes? That is the other reason you must not fail. You said before, rehab told you to do it for yourself or it won't stick. I think that's only partially true. You must also do it for people you care about, or they cannot be your motivation either. When I said my final piece, forced Teyrey to defend an untenable position, I think, I hope everyone did choose what they thought they wanted. It's okay to disagree or fight me. Most of my soldiers did oppose me in the past, so long as you have no regrets, and have strong convictions behind your stance.
Klaus... I don't want to hide this from you, so I won't. [Kisses their knuckles, and lathers shampoo carefully with his free hand into Klaus' hair.] I cannot see colors yet. I didn't die, I don't think it was the Captain. It happened before. When I thought I was possessed and turned into the Demon King of 6th Heaven officially. Back then, I thought, it resolved because I pulled Japan out of hell. Yuuki thinks it's psychological. An effect of trauma. [Scrubby scrubby! Love the Klaus!!! Love love love love.] I am not worried, and I do not wish to worry Teyrey, I did tell Valdis and Yato though. It will resolve, but... don't ever doubt the effect you have on me.
[Kisses their cheek!] Oh and I absolutely have not had sex this whole time. My desire to wait with you is for safety, nothing more. [Finger over Klaus' lips again momentarily! And shakes his head under the water stream quickly!] It is okay if you have. That was then, this is now, but I'd prefer to know. [Drops the finger, mentally trying to brace himself!] Though I guess if you told SecUnit we're married?? [Ugh the hope, he can hear it in his own voice bluuuh. It'll be okay no matter what. Mostly no matter what. Need to lay out his battle plans lists and have his banner back so he knows where he is. That all behind him... are his. So his back is safe, enemy forward. Thats how he needs it.]
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Date: 2023-01-05 03:55 pm (UTC)I’m sorry about Yato. He came to bring me food one day and I was probably weird about it.
[And another of the five million reasons to love Nobunaga] I hope it’s not actually a problem for you, but I’ll be here if it is. It’s virtually impossible to avoid the alcohol on this boat, but I’ll do my best. Because I have to. For me. [A beat.] For me to get better, it’s necessary. [As for the other part…] I don’t regret my choice for what it was. I feel bad that it had to happen like that, but if it worked and did what it was supposed to, I don’t. My only regret was hurting you. [He looks down.] But even that has maybe helped us a little. To get here. Even if it sucked so bad.
[The mention about color has them concerned, though. That happened?] Are you… [They give him an apologetic look.] I’ll help you get your colors back if it’s the last thing I do. [Maybe a little overdramatic, but that’s what they do.]
[There’s a little shake of their head.] Bash kissed my neck, but he was drunk and he never drinks ever! I told him he couldn’t consent, so…I just let him sleep it off in the room. I mean, he passed out on the way to sleeping it off anyway. But nothing happened with anyone else. I couldn’t have consented really either. [They’re a little tense about the Bash stuff because they know how Nobunaga feels about him, but…it’s fine. Probably. But there’s something else to ask.] You’re concerned about safety? Like because I’m sick or is there something else?
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Date: 2023-01-05 08:02 pm (UTC)[Valdis. Vulnerable. It's a hard slap to his system. He knew she hadn't been all there, but he hadn't thought too deeply on it. He knew his own desire to deal death, the power rush from killing, that sometimes the only thing he transitioned into was sex. Nobunaga shakes out his own hair, apologetically kisses between Klaus' shoulder blades so he can take his hand back, but puts one of Klaus' hands on him, constant contact, so neither of them felt lost! And scrubs out his hair with both hands. He needs to think!]
Safety because... it isn't good to use each other like addictions. I may have messed up my relationship with Valdis further back than I thought before, but this is good to know.
... Luther thinks you don't care about things? It is the exact opposite. You care the deepest, even when it's not about you, you feel the pain anyway. That is why I say you are so strong. Luther's not very... bright, is he? [Tentative placating kiss, and cleans Klaus with both hands now, and starts massaging Klaus!] I ask with love!
[As for Yato, yes! What a great God, Klaus doesn't suspect a thing!! Or is playing along. Nah, probably not.] Yato cares more about you than you realize. Not just because of me, but on your own merits. If any good came of the last two weeks, I hope you realize how many people would defend you, no matter what. And what the Captain did to him was... painful. He was nearly paralyzed, but still, you helped him. Don't underestimate that. [Kisses the shoulders, still massaging them happily! Chu!]
Just don't leave me again, I'm not strong enough a second time. That's not an ultimatum, it's a boundary. I'll try not to make it like it is only you doing something, but know, even in the heat of battle, sit on me and talk to me. Tell me everything, anything, your fears, and i will fix them. Just don't stop talking until I get it.
[There's a hard pinch of Klaus' spine at the base of the neck he's massaging at Bash's name, before he relaxes instantly. Oh wow, that's all? That's just how Klaus normally is with his friends. Okay. He kisses it apologetically, but gives a large rough bite to Klaus' shoulder purely to reassure himself that this was his husband. No letting go.]
Consent, is it?
[He addressed the safety thing, but--] I have not wanted anyone but you since we began. Or at least since Sharky's birthday. [There was only a week between, after all!] But more than that... [Both hands envelope one of Klaus' hands and hold it to his heart.] If I am sad, I cannot have sex. I must not let myself, or you, stop me from this mission until it is through. Then I will know the battle is over, the enemy spies, and their poison are routed. When I am physically one, and joined with you, I let myself feel safe. I must not until that is truly the case, or my senses will dull, and the very act itself would feel lesser. I will only accept the best, Lucky 4. From myself, and from you. No one else is the best, only you.
[Still holding both hands to his chest, he leans their foreheads together.] Valdis thought my calling her Gorgeous was for sex, it isn't. I was trying to say she had the power over me, but she probably felt it wasn't true, because I'm not able to--
Max Imum was in a bad way. High from cooking for people, feeling fulfilled so when he ran out? Useless, lost, needing someone to take control over him. I called Pratt, and Teyrey, and sent the two men mapping corners, and jogging flights of stairs. Though, I was a bit drunk, and pulled him by the tie. I couldn't help it. I can't imagine how hard it is in the future not to constantly choke anyone irksome. [Nobunaga...] This is what I mean as well, my spouse-in-crime, love of my life, soulmate by red threads of fate. It is very dangerous to mask the problem with decoration. It needs iron and rock. I will resolve every last fracture between us. And only then will I be sure that we are safe, nothing is hurting us inside out.
Did I ever tell you about Kitsuno? She died of plague. I wanted more medicine. More prosperity. [Tentatively checks on Klaus so he understands how much that does mean to him. Though Klaus once suggested it was unattainable.] And instead, the monks would tell me, it was just fate, the way of the gods. She was tortured by unseen forces, for no reason. [Turns Klaus around to kiss his forehead, rest their chests together, one hand laced again, the other cleeeeeaning!]
I still cannot abide playing by the rules of fate. You don't have to join me to still be on my side, or even protect me, but know that is where I'll be. A world that has such rules, is not a world worth respecting enough not to at least try. I am stubborn, the stubbornest of all time, perhaps. But--
[Yes. He's going to do it. Are you ready? Sing Mariah Carey!]
I will always love yooooouuuuu.
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Date: 2023-01-05 09:53 pm (UTC)[He looks over for a moment.] I think we both did...but I don't think that we knew that at the time. But now that we do, I think...we have to be mindful of it. When there's a change that drastic, we have to be mindful that there's something else going on and figure out something else.
[They let out a slow breath, just kind of enjoying all the bathing stuff for a moment.] I think he just...sees me as not having problems or not getting caught up in them, really. I think when you're so...stuck up Dad's ass for your life and you see someone like me just being a person. Probably misread my life. Thought the drugs and the lack of giving a shit was a positive thing. Except I'm fucked up as shit.
Um...what merits? [Klaus didn't even know that Yato cared that much about him. He could be wrong, of course. They lean into the massaging anyway.] I didn't want him to die. And Ari has only so many arms. [He looks over at him for a moment.] I'll do my best, okay? To get my point across when I have to.
[There's a small noise of discomfort when he's pinched.] Owwww. [But the kiss makes up for it. And the bite is definitely not helping his resolve to not let himself get carried away. They really want to stop being really, really into being bitten sometimes.] Consent. Yes. [Klaus listens] Okay. That's fair. But...in that line of everything...probably keep the biting to a minimum because I can control myself, but it's like...I'm really into it. Especially when it's you. I want to make sure we're not making a mess for ourselves to clean up.
[Klaus closes his eyes.] Well, it's probably how it felt to her at the time. Maybe you could just...tell her that?
[The Max Imum nearly has them rolling, though, and they shove down the instinct to laugh, which is a lot easier when he keeps going. He's not supposed to pull other people by the tie unless they're together! Oh wait.] Max isn't irksome. Also you know his name isn't Max Imum, right? It's Max Maximum. There's two Maxes...Please tell me you know this and you haven't been calling him Max Imum this whole time. Unless he's like...in on the joke, I guess.
[They listen as Nobunaga speaks about Kitsuno. They're sure they know about her, but...that is still no less sad.] I'm sorry they couldn't have gotten her medicine and made her better. That's hard.
[Klaus presses a quick kiss to Nobuaga's lips. Chaste and simple. He doesn't want to push things somewhere they can't pull back from.] You're still so cute. I love you, too. Can I...ask for something else? If one of us dies...no matter why, I want us to always find each other when we wake up. No matter the hour. Even if we just go back to sleep together, that's all I want. And... [He looks down] I think we need to wait till we get ourselves together to ask Friday about rooming together. So we can make sure that it's the best thing for us. Okay?
[They lean against Nobunaga for a moment] Dave was the first person I ever really loved. The first person that made me feel like I was worth something and I wanted to be so much better than I was because he deserved it. And we deserved to be happy. I had no control in...anything that happened. But I would have given up my entire life to stay with him if I could have, but...there was nothing I could do. He got shot and I...I just had to press my hands on his chest and scream for the medics and no one came and he just...died. He died there with me and I went back with his blood still all over me. He deserved so much better and I wish I'd known that I would come back because I would have found a way to die to keep him safe if I could even if it meant he was so freaked out that he never wanted to be with me again. He'd be safe and alive. That's all that would have mattered to me.
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Date: 2023-01-06 12:48 am (UTC)Ugh... Magic is so annoying!
You're kind, you're brave, you're usually loyal, [SORRY KLAUS, he's working on it jeez!!!], you're smart, you're strong, you care so much about every damn person around you, even strangers, that's the only reason you ever seem like your loyalty is tested, because you're trying to protect everyone at all damn once, and you're reliable, and sweet like candy.
[He wants to bite him again, but stays good for now.] I did tell her that. But I realized I need to talk to you, work this out a lot, because I'm not going to be able to get a hold of myself until I do. I've given you a lot more of myself than I realized, and to separate it, we'd have to move on, and since neither of us want to, we won't. So I won't separate it, but I will cut out the poison, and cauterize these wounds, and then we will face the others together.
I have definitely been calling him Max Imum the whole time. And I think I will start calling him just Imum. Unless that is crossing a line with you?
[Ugh. Nobunaga's devastated that they can't just share a room yet. Klaus is right, but it doesn't stop the sorrow and pain, and Nobunaga has to wash his face off in the shower, because tears.] Hai... Yes.
[He's able to handle his emotions so much better when Klaus leans against him for support and talks about Dave. He just wraps both arms around Klaus, gently cleaning the very last of their fronts and listening.]
You are worth it. You're worth... everything. I don't care how much I have to deal with. The world can be destroyed infinitely. I'll keep fighting so long as I have breath to see you again. No matter what. You'll always wake up to my face and vice versa.
Understand, when I don't agree with you, I'm not always failing to take you into consideration. Sometimes I fuck up, sometimes what I think I need is wrong, and I'm just used to my army, my rules, but you are not in my army. You are my spouse-in-crime. So I will always remember this, but I might need reminders.
However, I am not Reginald Hargreaves. You will never reach a point that you stop being useful to me, or too much effort. I like the effort. It lets me prove my strength, understand? [Kisses Klaus' shoulders! Biting is out but kisses??? So long as it's not the front, Nobunaga will lose his own damn mind then!] Sometimes you will have to grab my face to make sure I cannot be distracted. You will have to say, "I am most important, so you will listen to me, and I don't care that there is murder going on behind us." That is the difference between you and my army, got it? You are the only one who can, so you must. Even Yato said, he won't ever make me choose my loyalty to him or you. He's a god, he knows patience sucks, but he's lived a long damn time, he is better at waiting. That's your privilege as spouse-in-crime so you may abuse it freely, okay?
[He feels healed. A lot. Super duper healed. Maybe not 100%, but definitely even more than before the trial.]
I can't refrain from things just because it might make you cry. That WILL get us killed. I've never had that before, so I'm not mad at myself, and certainly never you. But from now on, I have to trust you to be strong enough, understand? So that gives you liberties too. Use them as you will. But know, even if you cry and I still do something, it's not because it doesn't hurt me. [Leans against the shower wall, and turns Klaus around, holding their hand to his heart.] Like a thousand knives directly to my heart and soul. It hurts. But it means that whatever I'm doing that's how strong my belief, my conviction is. So you must take your own control of it, understand? [Kisses Klaus' forehead!] Act to do what makes you happiest. Whether that is sitting on me to yell at me, throwing a pie at someone, or something brilliant we can't think of until the moment. I will empower your freedom, but I never want you to feel helpless and do nothing ever again. Do anything. And believe in me to help you see through what you really want. Agreed? Fair contract? [Just leans into him, breathing in their scent!!! His Klaus!]
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Date: 2023-01-06 01:52 am (UTC)[This is just getting a lot of blushing because they're still in a weird place about compliments, but they appreciate them all the same.] I love you. I love the way you see me.
[There's a small nod at that.] I don't want to separate. I want us to be stronger and if there's anything to help you, then I want to do it, too.
Hm? Is calling him Imum like...because you want to date him or just being playful?
[Klaus is very sorry, but if their problems aren't fixed before they move in together, that's not going to help either of them. And that's assuming they can move in together.] I'm sorry, babe.
[They listen to the words and they're feeling so much more relaxed now.] Good. I feel that way about you, too.
[He lets out a breath and nods at the words] I think I'm starting to understand that. I have to rethink how I look at things sometimes. That's...I keep telling you to do that and you told me to with Ari and I was being a brat about it and...I'm sorry. Sometimes I need to listen to you more, too. [A beat.] And you were right about me. Hanging my worth too much on what I can do for others. I was talking to Erin and it came up and I was annoyed that you were right...but you were.
[There's a soft sniffle. Being worthless is a thing that kills him, but...it's good to know that there's someone that will never see them as worthless. And the kisses make him happy.] I will do my best to be strong enough to insert myself as much as I need to but not get too bad about it.
[There's a little nod.] We're both probably going to cry at some point, but as long as we make it better after and as long as we're always willing to walk it out and work together, I can deal with it. [They snort] Can I just say I agree and have it not be about fair contracts?
[There's a small breath] Also I need you to know that I appreciate you. I appreciate how kind you are even when you claim that you're evil and terrible. It's very wrong. You're not. You're sweet and good and you care about the people that are close to you. You love being called cute even when you say you hate it. You just bite because you don't know how to deal with the fact that you like being cute. At least when it's me. And I know you're dramatic and over the top but I like that about you. Except when you make me want to shake you. And you're always willing to listen to me even when I'm not listening all the time, too. You see me pretty clearly.
[They reach for his hand.] I can't wait to be married to you in front of everyone and not just us. And I'm glad we're married in our hearts. I want to be with you forever or until we're old and sad and we probably die...but hopefully next to each other in our sleep.
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Date: 2023-01-06 02:11 am (UTC)Love you too. [Kisses Klaus' nose tip!]
[And chokes about Max!] No! He would let me kill him over and over. [Eyeroll.] Do you think that's something I want? I don't want to be like Reginald. [Snort.] You're so much stronger than him. The whole time he was begging me for attention, all I could think was how boring it all is and I need you, someone who says clearly what you don't want, so I don't have to do things I don't like. This is problem I have with Pratt. I could break him repeatedly and I'd be very bored. I don't want to be. I know, you don't think you're in danger with Blackbeard, because you can take care of yourself better than those two, but it's like choking Max. There's no quota threshold where I say, "I'm satisfied," except with you. Valdis thinks my sex-drive is always at max, but that's not the case, you're the exception, not the rule. [Blush! Glances away.] I'd call him Imum so that he can either decide he's okay with it, or decide he doesn't like it and learn to be strong enough to say so himself. And because everyone calls him Max-Max. It's like how I'd get Yes and No on my hands instead of your cult's Hello Goodbye.
[Nobunaga listens to the rest stoically... but LAUGHS hard when Klaus asks to agree and not say fair contract.] Yes. [Nips his nose, fuck it!]
[And leads them out of the shower to towel off!] But you should make up with her when you can. She might not forgive you for some extra time. I can do my best, but she has been invaluable as my second for this whole time. She is my family here, and even if my generals from home arrived, I'd make them obey her orders.
[Gaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh noooooooo what?! Of course Nobunaga can compliment the fuck out of Klaus' merits, but get started on his own and he's a blushing flustered mess who can't handle any of it!] Not kind... [SULK.]
[He does like being called cute. SECRETLY. That's why he likes calling others cute!]
[So he doesn't even deny it.]
[AND BLUSHES MORE. Of course he bites Klaus for that reason. But the smile is there because he's really REALLY grateful that Klaus SEES that.]
You can shake me as often as you like.
Maybe we'll never die. Your god in the void doesn't like you, and my soul would go to Yato anyway. Let's outlive Skulduggery and the Captain and show them not too bad for two half-human pains in the ass, yeah? [Where can he safely bite or kiss?]
[Nowhere. Hug? Ehhhhh.]
[He just throws Klaus over onto his shoulder to oni!kidnap and carry him to the closet. Hopefully Eddie isn't there.] I'll need to borrow some clothes. I'll let you pick. [Goes searching for the usual places to get the hairbrush!]
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Date: 2023-01-06 03:00 am (UTC)[There's a slight wrinkle in their nose the kiss] Good.
[There's a very unusual distinction. Klaus will make a note to tell Max to stand up for himself with Nobunaga. For Max's sake.] I can take care of myself. But sometimes I like you taking care of me. And I like your sex drive with me. Even if I know we're like...on a sex break. [Which is actually somewhat painful.
It's always the NOSE!]
I'll...do my best. [They sigh] I'm glad you had someone in your corner. [Even if it is also frustrating in a way]
And I will. I'm sure.
[They laugh at that.] I don't know if we can never die, but I'll do my best. I don't want to compete with anyone for longevity of life. I think we might lose and I don't want you to be sad if we do.
[There's a soft noise of surprise as he's picked up and carried to the closet. Once he's set down, he looks for something to wear. His eyes settle on things that he knows Nobunaga would try to immediately take off him, which means...he cannot wear them. He sighs, sifting through his clothes before settling on this t-shirt with these sleep shorts. Then they consider Nobunaga for a moment before choosing this shirt and this pair of lounge pants.
Once he's dressed, he sets the clothes out for Nobunaga and waits for his reaction for the outfit.] Let me know if you want to swap shirts.
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Date: 2023-01-06 03:28 am (UTC)Okay. We won't compete. We have to try to stay together, even against death though.
[He pokes the aliens before putting it on!] They're not all green. [No colors remember?] What are these other shades? And the rest of it? [The purple!]
[He already put it on, but he looks at it, and smiles.] Yeah I want the other one. I'm the Fool of Owari, not you.
I love you. [He has two weeks+ of not saying it to make up for!]
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Date: 2023-01-06 04:07 am (UTC)We will. I’ll stay with you until we can go together.
[Klaus is carefully pointing out each color on the shirt and making sure to tell them every color.
There’s a slight eyeroll.] We’re both fools in love. [Still, he’s carefully taking the shirt off and handing it over, holding his hand out for the alien shirt.]
I love you forever and ever. Come on. It’s proper nap time.I need to get enough sleep now before I can’t sleep well for a while. [They are going over towards the bed once they have the shirt and pull it on.] Big spoon or little spoon?
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Date: 2023-01-06 04:15 am (UTC)I don't care. So long as I'm with you. I guess little. [So he can text lmao.] I missed you so much. I didn't sleep much at all. I want you to sheathe me again.
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Date: 2023-01-06 04:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-01-06 04:35 am (UTC)